Thought Jokes

How does Kurt Cobain collect his thoughts?

With a mop.

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Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Why didn't the monk sell his temple?

Thought of this one on my own while playing WoW a couple days ago and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been told before. I like corny jokes. I Googled it and didn't find anything (:

What's the difference between North Korea amd South Korea?

North Koreans have no Seoul. Thought of this very early in the morning waiting to board a plane.

What are your thoughts on monorails?

They make decent one-liners.

Where do we keep our thoughts detained?

In brain cells!

What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?

Aw sheet! One of my favorite, cheesiest jokes of all time. Thought it would be a good first post to Reddit!

What did the black horse name its daughter?

Sha-neigh-neigh. Thought of it at work.

Where's the most racist place to focus one's thoughts?

Inward

Why is Santa Claus so jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live. I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas.

What's your thoughts on renewable energy?

2: I'm a big fan.

What are your thoughts on it?

ME: trying to impress her I have 6 wives

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What does a Jedi say after a tragic loss of life?

May my thoughts be with them".

What is a Furman freshman doing when he grasps at thin air?

Collecting his thoughts.

How did he get from Afghanistan to Iraq?

Iran (He ran). Thought of this when looking at the world map, sorry that it's terrible.

What are your thoughts on new soup technology?

I say Progresso at any cost.

What thoughts do Blondes have after reading these jokes?

A: None as usual... and they most likely didn't understand them either.

Where's the nearest cycle path you meant?

Thought you said psychopath.

How very is a very good dinosaur?

Very. (Thought of this idk if it was good)

How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

What is mitosis?

Those are the things on the ends of my feetsis. Thought of this during my last bio exam.

What do you get when offering a blonde a penny for her thoughts?

A: Change.

When Bruce Banner gets constipated do you think he turns into the Hulk?

just one of the thoughts I have during important business meetings

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Supreme Court Jokes More Supreme Court Jokes

What's the difference in the KKK and the Supreme Court?

The KKK dresses in white and scares the hell out of black people, the Supreme Court dresses in black and scares the hell out of white people.

What if George Lucas was the new Supreme Court justice?

Lucas gets indicted after video surfaces of him tampering with previous decisions he made.

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

How do you pick up my ex girlfriend?

With a broom and a dustpan.

How do you pick up older Spanish women?

Hola Seniority

America Jokes More America Jokes

What do salads and Mexicans have in common ?

They both benefit America!

Who survives?

America.

Handle Jokes More Handle Jokes

What is the best tool for getting a handle on your gambling addiction?

A vice grip.

Why is the peanut crying?

Because he couldn't handle his roast

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

How many points do you get if you hit a golfer?

Fore.

Why did the astronomer hit himself on the head in the afternoon?

He wanted to see stars during the day.

Destroy Jokes More Destroy Jokes

What is it called when someone gets destroyed at online chess?

Extreme Pawnage

How does a woman destroy a mans pride with 4 words?

Is it in yet? How does a man destroy a womans pride with 4 words? I don't know.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do lesbians use for lubricant?

Tartar sauce!

What kind of footwear do Whitewalkers use?

The Hodor-eliminating kind.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What do you call someone who can't find a job?

A Psych major. (Pls list your own response - if you're awake and in America at this time, you should have a pretty good one). Thanks.

What did the man in the wheelchair say when he returned the hat he borrowed?

Thanks for the handy cap.