What is the opposite of paranoia?

Thinking you are following someone.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What happens when Anthony Weiner tries to shake someones hand?

They think long and hard before they touch weiner.

What spends a good 3 hours a day in my hand?

hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D ... wait what were YOU THINKING ! ! !

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What's the opposite of funny?

answer: Jay Leno

What's the opposite of effort?

F it.

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Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

IN HIS SLEEVIES! Best used with little kids, or followed by maniacal laughter.

What is the difference between a girl and a washer?

The washer doesn't follow you around after you put a load in it.