Who's to say tomorrow won't be the best day of your life?

A statistician.

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What begins with S, ends with X and will change your life?

Smallpox

Why do people buy fruit already cut up?

There's only like 7 things in life easier than cutting up fruit and one of them is farting.

Tomorrow Jokes More Tomorrow Jokes

What is a depressed German with Celiac disease unlikely to have tomorrow?

A Gluten Morgan

What's a procrastinator's favorite punchline?

I'll tell you tomorrow

Good Day Jokes More Good Day Jokes

Why is Friday the best day of the week?

Its the 5/7 day of the week

Who was the most active of the chinese khanes?

Ginseng khan I am in a silly mood. Have a good day

Statistician Jokes More Statistician Jokes

What do you call it when a statistician secretly gives out clothes?

Discreet uniform distribution

How do you know statisticians are always serious?

They mean what they say.