What mammal dies after it mates?

Anyone that goes near my wife!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

A: surname

Why did Spock dump his wife?

because William Shatner I know it's old, but I love it so

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What is the difference between the regular police and the secret service?

The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies. Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.

What will i do when i die?

Idk!

Mate Jokes More Mate Jokes

What's the mating call for a University of Alabama student?

I'm soo ddrrrruunnkk!"

What's the mating call of a sorority girl?

O My GOd! I am so drunk.