John Jokes

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

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Where did little John go after the explosion?

Everywhere.

What did Mr. Cena's fiance say on their wedding day?

No, John! can't see

What 2 things do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?

They both ate honey and they both have the same middle name.

When does John Cena get scared?

When John CENA ghost!

What is Lil' John's favorite exercise?

Squats, squats, squats squats, squats squats, squats, squats, squats squats. Everybody!

What's pink and sits on a piano chair?

Elton's John

Why did the John leave the Brothel?

He was sick of the hormones! (whore-moans)

This joke may have profanity.

What's the difference between a crackhead and a John?

A crackhead buys crack so he can put it into his pipe and burn it. A John pays so that he can put his pipe into a crack that might burn him.

What do you call a 1 ton toilet?

EL-ton John

What do Atilla the Hun and John the Baptist have in common?

Their middle name.

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What did one John say to the other John?

What's the matter You look flushed!"

What is everyone writing songs about?

John: revolution Paul: forgiveness George: true love Ringo: hmm, a submarine or maybe an octopus

What do you call an American with a lavatory on his head ?

John.

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

Whose funeral was this photo taken at?

John, serious tone: "I dunno. Let's see who's missing" possible funniest thing john has said

Whats in Olivia Newton's John?

Gomer's Pile

What was that ?

John says: "That was an atomic bomb"

Which two regions have the most people named John?

SEA / NA

Why can't John complete a workout?

He tried, but it didn't work out.

Whats with the wheel on your john?

the pirate replied, "Arrg it's driving me nuts!"

Why are dogs bad at poker?

Because they wag their tails whenever they have a good hand. Why did John's dog win the poker tournament Because he's a Doberman.

How bad is it?

John: "How bad is what "

What did Mr. Cena's fiancee say on their wedding day?

No, John! *You* can't see *me!*

Why didn't John die?

John is a bird.

What do John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

They have the same middle name!

Why did John keep on finding cracker crumbs in his bed?

His wife didn't know any decent crackers.

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?

I forgot to wet the soap.

What did the mom say when she found out her son was going to be a evil spy?

Abort mission!

Pipe Jokes More Pipe Jokes

What's the difference between a crackhead and a John?

A crackhead buys crack so he can put it into his pipe and burn it. A John pays so that he can put his pipe into a crack that might burn him.

What did one plumber say to the other plumber?

Pipe down.

Photo Jokes More Photo Jokes

How does Big Boss store his photos?

On a Solid Snake Drive 120 gb sorry :

Whose funeral was this photo taken at?

John, serious tone: "I dunno. Let's see who's missing" possible funniest thing john has said

John Cenile Jokes More John Cenile Jokes

What do you call an old John Cena?

John Cenile

What do you call 75 year old John Cena?

John Cenile.

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why was the London sperm bank so unsuccessful?

The were only two donors. One came on the bus, the other missed the tube.

Why can't America ever win a chess tournament?

Because they're missing two towers

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What did the dog take when he was run down?

The license number of the car that hit him.

What should you do if a bird poos on your car?

Don't ask her out again

75 Year Old Jokes More 75 Year Old Jokes

What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't?

Her navel.

What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn't?

A: Her navel.

Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

Why was the Muslim sad when he bought a pirated disc?

Because the Disc was cracked

Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table?

Because it cracked itself up.