Why can't John complete a workout?

He tried, but it didn't work out.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why did helium get into a fight with neon?

They can't bond with each other, no matter how hard they try.

What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why was the mathematician late for work?

He took the rhombus.

Why was the NSA computer programmer late for work?

Because he got Snowden

John Jokes More John Jokes

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

How bad is it?

John: "How bad is what "

Workout Jokes More Workout Jokes

What's white and gives you a solid 9+ inches that gives you a workout every time?

Snow Storms

What did the velociraptor say after his workout?

I'm a little dino-sore.

Complete Jokes More Complete Jokes

What is the difference between complete and finished?

If you find the right woman, you're complete.

What do you call a can after it completes college?

A graduated cylinder.