Complete Jokes

What do you call a can after it completes college?

A graduated cylinder.

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What is the difference between complete and finished?

If you find the right woman, you're complete.

What did the author of The Lord Of The Rings say after he completed his books?

If you like dialogue, theres a whole lot of Tolkein.

What did the samurai do...?

Q: What did the samurai do when he was dishonored by his inability to complete the crossword puzzle? A: He committed ritual sudoku.

How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.

Why can't John complete a workout?

He tried, but it didn't work out.

Why was the track runner with low self-esteem able to complete the race even after being impaled by a stray javelin?

He didn't know he had it in him.

What's in 65 days?

The blonde replies, "I completed the puzzle in 65 days! The box said 2 to 4 years!"

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Video Jokes More Video Jokes

What do you call a video of pedestrians?

A: Footage.

When is the NFL going to start drafting players with mental handicaps?

Have you ever seen a video of them getting the ball and not scoring a touchdown

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did the police officer say to the white man running away with a TV?

Sir, you dropped your receipt!"

What's the difference between Politicians and Thieves?

Thief: They steal your money then run Politician: They run and then steal your money

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do The Walking Dead and Fast &amp Furious have in common?

dead walkers

What do you do to an elephant with three balls?

Walk him, and pitch to the giraffe!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between the substance inside a fire hydrant and the substance on the outside of it?

H20 is on the inside, and K9P is on the outside.

What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?

A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

Graduate Cylinder Jokes More Graduate Cylinder Jokes

What do you call a tin can that's done with High School?

A graduated cylinder!

What do you call a scientific measuring instrument with degrees?

A graduated cylinder. This is the only joke I've ever thought of.

Waswa Jokes More Waswa Jokes

What do you call ISIS after it has been completely destroyed?

WASWAS!

What will the ISIS be called when we eventually destroy them?

WASWAS.

Elope Jokes More Elope Jokes

Why couldn't the melons get married?

Because they can't elope.

Why couldn't the melons secretly get married?

Because they were cant elopes

Hispanic Jokes More Hispanic Jokes

Why did the tourist visiting Mexico bring Prolax and pepper spray?

They prevented hispanic attacks

What do you call a Hispanic midget?

Paragraph. Because he's not even a full ese.