Complete Jokes

What do you call a can after it completes college?

A graduated cylinder.

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What is the difference between complete and finished?

If you find the right woman, you're complete.

What did the author of The Lord Of The Rings say after he completed his books?

If you like dialogue, theres a whole lot of Tolkein.

What did the samurai do...?

Q: What did the samurai do when he was dishonored by his inability to complete the crossword puzzle? A: He committed ritual sudoku.

How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.

Why can't John complete a workout?

He tried, but it didn't work out.

Why was the track runner with low self-esteem able to complete the race even after being impaled by a stray javelin?

He didn't know he had it in him.

What's in 65 days?

The blonde replies, "I completed the puzzle in 65 days! The box said 2 to 4 years!"

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Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

What do you call a camera mounted on a ISIS-truck?

a daeshcam

What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods?

Teenagers these days be all "I hate you mom I'm joining ISIS."

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

How can you tell if a turkey is from Germany?

By the way it Goebbels

How much do all the bones in the human body weigh?

A Skele-Ton. Thanks, I'll see my way out.

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

Why are germans so bad at marathons?

Because they cant finish a race.

How much equations does it take to finish a math test?

Only Sum

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

What's the difference between a dog and Windows 10?

A dog knows what is 'no'.

What does the Mexican kid say as his homework flys out of the window?

Ayyee essay, where are you going

Cantaloupe Jokes More Cantaloupe Jokes

Why did the melons plan a big wedding?

Because they cantaloupe!

What kind of melons always have big weddings?

Cantaloupe.

Right Woman Jokes More Right Woman Jokes

What is the difference between complete and finished?

If you find the right woman, you're complete.

How will I ever find the right woman?

She replied "Forget finding the right woman, focus on being the right man."

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between my face and my jokes?

People laugh at my face.

What's the difference between and out-law and an in-law?

One's wanted.

Elope Jokes More Elope Jokes

Why was the farmer disappointed when he tried to marry his prized melon?

Because the minister wouldn't marry the two, since a melon can't elope!

What do you call a cantaloupe who can't elope?

A cantaloupe. The spelling is completely different...