Workout Jokes

What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

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What did the velociraptor say after his workout?

I'm a little dino-sore.

What kind of workout does Bob the electrician do?

Circuit training.

What's white and gives you a solid 9+ inches that gives you a workout every time?

Snow Storms

Why can't John complete a workout?

He tried, but it didn't work out.

How did the homeless man get so buff?

Because his workouts were in tents. I'll show myself out...

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Barista Jokes More Barista Jokes

Why do engineering majors refer to themselves "engineers"?

You don't see literature majors calling themselves Starbucks baristas

What do you call someone who does a BA in Arts, a MA in English and a PhD in Gender Studies?

A well educated Barista

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why do so many college kids need free healthcare?

Because they are feeling the Bern.

What did JayZ say to the theoretical mathematician?

I feel sorry for you son, I got 99 problems but you got imaginary ones

Stir Jokes More Stir Jokes

Why did James Bond higher a man with Parkinson's to be his butler?

He likes his drinks shaken, not stirred.

What was James Bond after he slept through an earthquake?

Shaken, not stirred.

Spoiler Jokes More Spoiler Jokes

What is The Mountain's favorite tri-cep workout?

Spoilers) Skull crushers

What is Glenn's (The Walking Dead) favorite restaurant?

SPOILERS*** Popeyes!

Favorite Jokes More Favorite Jokes

Whats Darth Vaders favorite alchohol?

Darth Jaeger

What is Blackbeard and Captain Hooks favorite workout routine?

Pirates.

Bob Jokes More Bob Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs floating in the water?

A: Bob

What does he have now?

Diabetes. Bob has diabetes.

French Press Jokes More French Press Jokes

What kind of coffee do terrorists hate?

French press. (Too soon?)

Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)

Pronounce Jokes More Pronounce Jokes

Why isn't the holiday on December 25th pronounced "Chlistmas"?

Because there's no L.

How do Jamaicans pronounce bacon?

The same way British people pronounce beer can.