Where does Dracula buy his writing supplies?

Pencilvania.

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Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons ?

He wanted Mark Antony !

How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard-of-hearing?

HEY!!! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!?!

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What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening?

Have a nice bite!

How can you tell when Dracula is sick?

By his coughin'