Where does Dracula buy his writing supplies?

Pencilvania.

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Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for.

Why didn't Bach buy his wife a new accordion?

He couldn't afford it; he was "Baroque".

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Why did Dracula go to the orthodontist?

He wanted to improve his bite.

How can you tell when Dracula is sick?

By his coughin'