Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!
a STRAWberry. ...I'll go...
Because she's always drinking from the coup de Grace. (This was my sister's favourite joke when we were kids. Once our mum flipped out on a long car journey because she told it too many times).
Because they like to exercise their right to bare arms.
Grandma: Yes I do. Mary: Well you can have mine.
A lesbian with a hard on.
Inserting a rod into the reactor turns it off.
Wai fu.
Yes, son. Love is terrible. "No Mom, I said LAVA." Oh. You maybe can survive that one.
Because she wants to rise and shine.
I make my own dough". My sister Katie came up with this one.
When He is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice!
A tea-shirt. Please don't hurt me.
3 hours later* Her: What are you talking about
HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text
