What do women and pine trees have in common?

Every time you try to get on one, they ruin it by getting sappy.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What have you done wrong if the wife keep complaining when you try to watch TV in the living room?

You made the chain too long in the kitchen.

How do you check if a webpage is HTML5?

Try it out on Internet Explorer

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Where'd you get the pig"?

Woman: "How DARE you call my dog that!" Man: "I was talking to the dog!"

Why don't women blink during foreplay?

They don't have time.

Ruin Jokes More Ruin Jokes

What's the difference between math and meth?

One of them ruins your life. The other's just meth.

Why was Lara Croft sad?

Because her career was in ruins

Pine Tree Jokes More Pine Tree Jokes

What do women and pine trees have in common?

Every time you try to get on one, they ruin it by getting sappy.

What does a lawyer, a pine tree, and a hydrogen atom have in common?

Absolutely nothing.