What do women and pine trees have in common?

Every time you try to get on one, they ruin it by getting sappy.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why were Jeremy Clarkson's colleagues excited to try his mulled wine?

Because they'd been floored by his punch.

What did David say when the tourist tried to touch him?

Don't touch my marbles.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What did the woman say to the stamp collector to reject his romantic advances?

Philately will get you no where.

Why are women so afraid of looking stupid?

Because they don't want the world to know!

Ruin Jokes More Ruin Jokes

How are black people similar to tornadoes?

They both only take one to ruin a neighborhood.

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

Pine Tree Jokes More Pine Tree Jokes

What does a lawyer, a pine tree, and a hydrogen atom have in common?

Absolutely nothing.

What do women and pine trees have in common?

Every time you try to get on one, they ruin it by getting sappy.