Why is chess confusing in Australia?

That's check, mate."

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Why did the vulture have to check some luggage at the gate?

It was only allowed one piece of carrion.

Why do Australians take forever to play chess?

Because they never make it past the first check, mate.

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Which I replied, "Wanna know whats also the size of Australia?

Australia.

What did Tony Abbott do when he heard Denmark had surplus wind power ?

Cut funding for wind power in Australia

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Why is the USA so bad at chess?

Because they are missing two towers.

Why don't Episcopalians play chess?

They don't know the difference between a bishop and a queen