Australia Jokes

How do you write poop in Australia?

dood

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between Britain and Australia?

When one votes, it changes something, making things worse. When another votes, it doesn't change anything, making things worse.

What's the difference between Australia and Yogurt?

Culture

What do you call an Australian singer who was born in Australia?

Aussie Aus-born.

What do space-related scientists call themselves in Australia?

Austronomers

What did Tony Abbott do when he heard Denmark had surplus wind power ?

Cut funding for wind power in Australia

Which phone is most sold in Australia?

The htc M8. Oi mate

Why wouldn't you hire bears from Australia?

Because they don't have the necessary koalafications. (Derived from: )

What's upside down and downside up at the same time ?

A kid with cerebral palsy living in Australia

Why does Saudi Arabia import so many camels from Australia?

They've got to get their 72 virgins

Why can't bears get jobs in Australia?

They don't have the right koalfications!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and an elephant?

Big holes all over Australia!

Which I replied, "Wanna know whats also the size of Australia?

Australia.

Why is a blonde like Australia?

A: They're both down under and no one cares.

Who is the most famous DJ in Australia?

DJ Redo

What do you call a nutty dog in Australia ?

A dingo-ling !

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo ?

Big holes all over Australia !

What did one cracker say to the other?

Let's conquer the Americas, Africa, Australia, and Asia."

Whats the difference between Australia and a yoghurt?

Leave a yoghurt out in the sun for 300 years and it'll develop a culture

Why wasn't Jesus born in Australia?

They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Why was Jesus not born in Australia?

Because God could not find three wise men and a virgin.

Which country's currency weighs as much as it's worth?

Australia. Because five $0.20 coins are about half a pound.

Who was that on the phone Fred?

Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down !

Why did jesus not go to australia?

He couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Why is chess confusing in Australia?

That's check, mate."

You might also enjoy:

Htc M8 Jokes More Htc M8 Jokes

Which phone is most sold in Australia?

The htc M8. Oi mate

What's an MLG's smartphone of choice?

An HTC One M8.

Import Jokes More Import Jokes

Why does Saudi Arabia import so many camels from Australia?

They've got to get their 72 virgins

Why doesn't Russia import water buffalo?

Because they already have Moscow.

Poop Jokes More Poop Jokes

What do you call a Chatbook that consists solely of pictures of your poop?

A Shatbook.

What's the first rule here, boys?

Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.

M8 Jokes More M8 Jokes

What did one galaxy say to the Lagoon Nebula?

Whats up M8?

What's an MLG's smartphone of choice?

An HTC One M8.

Camel Jokes More Camel Jokes

What do you get when a camel pukes in the desert?

A hot mess.

How is a lesbian like a camel?

Their hump has no bone.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why was the road upset when the chicken went over him twice?

It didn't like being double crossed.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

Because it was too chicken!

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?

He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.

Want to hear my pizza joke?

Never mind, it's too cheesy.

Wanna Jokes More Wanna Jokes

How many ADD/ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb?

Wanna go ride bikes

When you are driving though the field in Texas, you see a lot of cattle. They are very special. Wanna know why?

They are out standing in the field