Who was that on the phone Fred?

Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down !

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the first thing a woman does after leaving spousal abuse therapy?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!

What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son Tom?

If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What's the difference between a man falling from 100ft and a man falling from 10ft ?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - SMACK SMACK - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Why can't the man take his job seriously?

Because he's a clown! Buh bum tis

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard?

Figuring out what to tell you about first.

How can north korea tell if it made a ship or a submarine?

By how fast it sinks.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

How does Yo-Yo Ma answer the phone?

Cello?

What's the song that coldplay wrote for you?

Yellow. *Phil answers phone*

Fred Jokes More Fred Jokes

Who's there ! A Fred ! A Fred who ?

Who's a Fred of the Big Bad Wolf

Why didn't Wilma let Fred in when he was banging at the door?

Because she was in the shower and didn't hear him because the elephant stump was on full blast.

Australia Jokes More Australia Jokes

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and an elephant?

Big holes all over Australia!

What's the difference between Australia and Yogurt?

Culture

Long Distance Jokes More Long Distance Jokes

How do pirates agree with each other over long distances?

With their aye-phones.

What is the best way to talk to a vampire?

By long distance.