Long Distance Jokes

What's the difference between Americans and Europeans?

For an European 500 Miles is a long distance, for an American 500 years are a long History

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What is the best way to talk to a vampire?

By long distance.

How do pirates agree with each other over long distances?

With their aye-phones.

What's the difference between an American and a Briton?

Britons think 200 miles is a long distance, and American's think 200 years is a long time.

What's the difference between Americans and Brits?

Brits think 200 miles is a long distance, Americans think 200 years is a long time.

What's got six legs and can fly long distances ?

Three swallows !

Who was that on the phone Fred?

Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down !