Britain Jokes

Why does Britain love tea so much?

Because tea leaves.

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What's the difference between Britain and Australia?

When one votes, it changes something, making things worse. When another votes, it doesn't change anything, making things worse.

Why did all of Britain stop smoking pot?

Because they all joined

Why does Britain like tea so much?

Because tea leaves.

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

What is Britain's most popular newspaper amongst breastfeeding mothers?

The Daily Express.

What do you get when you cross France and Britain?

Canada.

Why are there no penguins in Britain?

They're scared of Wales.

What's the most common owl in Britain?

The tea towel

What's Imperial Britain's favorite game?

Clash of Clans

What do you call the Dollar Tree stores in Britain?

Pound Town

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Why does America spell some words differently?

They said "We can do it without u, Britain."

What did Germany say to Britain during World War II?

I'd luft to waffe a few bombs in your direction.

Why don't you see penguins in Britain?

Because they're afraid of Wales

Which is the worst career choice?

Dentistry in Britain Nutritionist in the Midwest North Pole stripper during an antifreeze shortage

What's better than having a 'Brexit' vote about Britain leaving the EU?

Not being British.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How much Squidwards does it take to fix a lightbulb?

zero, because none of them knows how to

Why will the artist formerly know as Prince only hire former FBI agents as his house maids?

Because they must be able to "dust for Prince" I'll see myself out now

Brexit Jokes More Brexit Jokes

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

What's better than having a 'Brexit' vote about Britain leaving the EU?

Not being British.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What does a necrophiliac say to confess his love for someone?

You're dead to me"

Why Do Ranchers Love Getting A Sore Throat?

Because they always get a little hoarse

Eu Jokes More Eu Jokes

What's the difference between Hillary's e-mails and the UK leaving the EU?

Hillary got off Scott-free.

How much space is left in EU?

1 GB

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How do blind people know where to find Braille signs on walls and doors?

They just have a feel for that kind of thing.

What is the only thing that will be "Feeling the Bern"?

Working people's wallets.

Wale Jokes More Wale Jokes

Why do penguins never go to England?

Because they're afraid of Wales!

What's the difference between a tennis ball and the prince of Wales?

One is heir to the throne and the other is thrown into the air.

Pot Jokes More Pot Jokes

How does one cook toilet paper?

Simple - brown it on both sides then throw it into the pot.

What do you get when you smoke pot with a bee in a candy shop?

A sweet buzz!

Surprise Jokes More Surprise Jokes

Why was Harry Potter surprised when Ferrari won the F1 race?

Because he expecto'd Petronas.

What did the Sewage Worker say to his apprentice?

Urine for a surprise.