Britain Jokes

Why does Britain love tea so much?

Because tea leaves.

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What's the difference between Britain and Australia?

When one votes, it changes something, making things worse. When another votes, it doesn't change anything, making things worse.

Why did all of Britain stop smoking pot?

Because they all joined

Why does Britain like tea so much?

Because tea leaves.

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

What is Britain's most popular newspaper amongst breastfeeding mothers?

The Daily Express.

What do you get when you cross France and Britain?

Canada.

Why are there no penguins in Britain?

They're scared of Wales.

What's the most common owl in Britain?

The tea towel

What's Imperial Britain's favorite game?

Clash of Clans

What do you call the Dollar Tree stores in Britain?

Pound Town

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Why does America spell some words differently?

They said "We can do it without u, Britain."

What did Germany say to Britain during World War II?

I'd luft to waffe a few bombs in your direction.

Why don't you see penguins in Britain?

Because they're afraid of Wales

Which is the worst career choice?

Dentistry in Britain Nutritionist in the Midwest North Pole stripper during an antifreeze shortage

What's better than having a 'Brexit' vote about Britain leaving the EU?

Not being British.

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What's Imperial Britain's favorite game?

Clash of Clans

What do you call a clan for chickens?

Coo clucks clan

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How do you know if Buzzfeed article is stolen?

You get the feeling that you've Reddit before.

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?

Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? A: Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing the chickens.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What do you call a Rapper who smokes too much?

Tupac-aday

What do you get when you smoke pot with a bee in a candy shop?

A sweet buzz!

Australia Jokes More Australia Jokes

Why did jesus not go to australia?

He couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

What did Tony Abbott do when he heard Denmark had surplus wind power ?

Cut funding for wind power in Australia

Canada Jokes More Canada Jokes

What do you call a German living in Canada?

A leder hoser.

What is the equivalent to Area-51 in Canada?

Area-51, A

Breastfeed Jokes More Breastfeed Jokes

What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding?

Thanks for the mammaries!

What is Britain's most popular newspaper amongst breastfeeding mothers?

The Daily Express.

Surprise Jokes More Surprise Jokes

How do you surprise a blind man?

Stick a plunger in the toilet

What's big, grey and makes you jump?

The elephant of surprise. :)

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What do you call a ghost that loves soccer?

Ghoooooooooooooouuull!

What does the zero say to the eight?

I like your belt. Ok, ok. I know it's elementary, but I still love it.