Surprise Jokes

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

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How do you surprise Helen Keller?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

What did the Sewage Worker say to his apprentice?

Urine for a surprise.

Why is it impossible to surprise a snowman?

He has ice in the back of his head. Get it He has ice in the back of his head. Get it

How do you surprise a blind man?

Stick a plunger in the toilet

What's big, grey and makes you jump?

The elephant of surprise. :)

What do you call it when an author catches you off guard with innuendo?

Surprise subtext.

What did R. Kelly say to the teenage girl fan?

Urine for a surprise.

What's the definition of a surprise?

A fart with a lump in it

Why was Harry Potter surprised when Ferrari won the F1 race?

Because he expecto'd Petronas.

Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday?

GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you.

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Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

What do toilets yell when they ride roller coasters?

Weeeeeeeee!!!

Why did the toilet make a joke about the balls?

It was low hanging fruit.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many women does it take. . . to screw in a lightbulb in a convent?

Nun.

How many moths does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but more can join in if there's room in the lightbulb.

Midget Jokes More Midget Jokes

What is 34.5?

69 for midgets

How can a line be both short and long?

It's a long line of midgets!

Snowman Jokes More Snowman Jokes

How do snowmen travel around ?

By iceicle !

How did the snowman get happy?

The snowblower came around

India Jokes More India Jokes

What do they call cunnilingis in India?

A punjob.

What do you call an alligator from India whose in charge of telling everyone what to do?

A Deli-gator...I'll be here all week!

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

Which actress would you like to get stuck in an elevator with?

Me: One who knows how to fix elevators.

How is a chronic disease unlike the 9th Doctor, but like the 10th Doctor?

It sticks around for more than 1 Season, and doesn't want to go.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why don't roosters wear underwear?

Their peckers are on their heads.

Whatcha call that?

Head over heels.

Britain Jokes More Britain Jokes

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

Why don't you see penguins in Britain?

Because they're afraid of Wales