Surprise Jokes

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

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How do you surprise Helen Keller?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

What did the Sewage Worker say to his apprentice?

Urine for a surprise.

Why is it impossible to surprise a snowman?

He has ice in the back of his head. Get it He has ice in the back of his head. Get it

How do you surprise a blind man?

Stick a plunger in the toilet

What's big, grey and makes you jump?

The elephant of surprise. :)

What do you call it when an author catches you off guard with innuendo?

Surprise subtext.

What did R. Kelly say to the teenage girl fan?

Urine for a surprise.

What's the definition of a surprise?

A fart with a lump in it

Why was Harry Potter surprised when Ferrari won the F1 race?

Because he expecto'd Petronas.

Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday?

GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you.

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Snowman Jokes More Snowman Jokes

Why did Frosty the snowman pull down his pants?

He heard the snow-blower was coming.

Where do snowmen put their webpages?

On the winternet.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many leftists does it take to change a lightbulb?

8,000 to protest against the broken lightbulb but 0 to realize it won't change anything.

How does a woman go about inventing a lightbulb?

She gives birth to a son.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Failure to pull out in time

What do blondes do after they comb their hair?

They pull up their pants.

Skin Jokes More Skin Jokes

Which shampoo is that?

My Boss: This is inappropriate Me: Your skin is so... My Boss:*Turns off shower* OUT!

What's the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector?

A taxidermist takes only your skin. Mark Twain

Midget Jokes More Midget Jokes

How did the midget feel after sleeping all night in a coffin?

A little stiff.

What do you call a construction company that only employs midgets?

Clearly short handed.

Brexit Jokes More Brexit Jokes

What do you call the divorce between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie?

a Brexit

What do British girls do to hearts?

Brexit

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did the guy with 6 children say to the guy with six felonies?

I don't know they were speaking Spanish.

How many performance artists does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't know, I left early.

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

What did Ghandi say when he was in the toilet?

I'm having a movement"

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh. - *My little brother told me this one hit me with a little bit of nostalgia.*