What's the definition of a surprise?

What did one Egyptian say to the other Egyptian after they both farted?

Hey we have a toot in common.

What did the poop said to the other poop?

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

Definition Jokes More Definition Jokes

What is the definition of an optimist?

A: An accordion player with a pager.

What is the definition of a Wife?

An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.

Lump Jokes More Lump Jokes

What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together?

Carbon Dating.

Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas?

They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal.

Surprise Jokes More Surprise Jokes

Why is it impossible to surprise a snowman?

He has ice in the back of his head. Get it He has ice in the back of his head. Get it

What did R. Kelly say to the teenage girl fan?

Urine for a surprise.