Lump Jokes

What do you call a lump of cats?

A meowtain

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What's the M0D's name before they're triggered; turning into a furious, putrid, lump of blubber?

Bruce Banner

How did the little boy save the catholic priest's life?

He found a lump on his testicle.

Why does a blond dog have lumps on his head?

A: He's been chasing parked cars.

What's the definition of a surprise?

A fart with a lump in it

What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together?

Carbon Dating.

Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas?

They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal.

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Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why was the deaf man sighing and shaking his head in disgust when he looked over at his next door neighbour?

Because she was *airing her dirty laundry*!!!

What do you say to the guy who just jumped in the septic tank?

Urine over your head!

Park Car Jokes More Park Car Jokes

How do Polish dogs get bumps on their heads?

Chasing parked cars.

Why does a blond dog have lumps on his head?

A: He's been chasing parked cars.

Surprise Jokes More Surprise Jokes

How do you surprise a blind man?

Stick a plunger in the toilet

Why was Harry Potter surprised when Ferrari won the F1 race?

Because he expecto'd Petronas.

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What do you call some who is afraid of Santa?

Clausetrophobic. I'm here all week.

Why is santa always so happy?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Carbon Dating Jokes More Carbon Dating Jokes

Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?

Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.

What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together?

Carbon Dating.

Chase Jokes More Chase Jokes

Why did the leper chase the leopard?

Because she wanted the D. (I dreamed this joke last night. Not bad for a dream joke.)

What do you call 500 old white guys chasing a black man with clubs?

The PGA tour.

Bruce Banner Jokes More Bruce Banner Jokes

When Bruce Banner gets constipated do you think he turns into the Hulk?

just one of the thoughts I have during important business meetings

What is bruce banners favourite kind of potato?

HULK'S MASH! no idea where she picked it up from, but it made me chuckle

Park Jokes More Park Jokes

What do you call a 5'10" fortune teller parked in the middle of a divided highway?

A medium medium on the median.

What do you call an illegally parked frog?

Toad.