Lump Jokes

What do you call a lump of cats?

A meowtain

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What's the M0D's name before they're triggered; turning into a furious, putrid, lump of blubber?

Bruce Banner

How did the little boy save the catholic priest's life?

He found a lump on his testicle.

Why does a blond dog have lumps on his head?

A: He's been chasing parked cars.

What's the definition of a surprise?

A fart with a lump in it

What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together?

Carbon Dating.

Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas?

They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal.

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Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What do you call a dead baby hanging on a wall?

Art

Why did the toilet make a joke about the balls?

It was low hanging fruit.

Definition Jokes More Definition Jokes

What is the definition of an optimist?

A: An accordion player with a pager.

How many philosophers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It depends on the definition of lightbulb.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What's your emer- DOG: HE THREW A BALL BUT I CAN'T FIND IT DOG 911: He still holding it?

DOG: YES! HOW'D HE FETCH IT BEFORE ME

What did the chemist say when hr found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe

Park Jokes More Park Jokes

What happens to a frogs car when it is parked illegally?

It gets toad away

What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

Testicle Jokes More Testicle Jokes

What does every Tickle Me Elmo receive before it leaves the factory?

Two testicles.

What's with the steering wheel on the front of your pants?

The pirate says, "Argh!! I don't know but it's driving me testicles!!!"

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why was the deaf man sighing and shaking his head in disgust when he looked over at his next door neighbour?

Because she was *airing her dirty laundry*!!!

How do you stop a hippie from drowning?

Take your combat boot off his head.

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

What do you call two diamonds in a healthy relationship?

Carbon dating

Why did the bar owner by a diamond mine get arrested?

He attributed to the delinquency of a miner.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How did the calf's final exam turn out?

Grade A!

How do you get out of an elephant?

Q: How do you get out of an elephant A: Turn around and around until you get all pooped out. (5 yo humor never gets old)