Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas?

They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal.

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What did Santa say when he saw your mom, sister, and girlfriend all together in the same room?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?

Santa stops after three ho's.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why did the kids not receive presents for Christmas?

Because Rudolph intentionally grounded the team...

What's the difference between a Christmas star and a bad pickling job?

One brightly shines...

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

What's the difference between a woman kneeling in prayer and a woman kneeling in a bathtub?

a woman kneeling in prayer has hope in her soul.

What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?

The woman in church has hope in her soul... The woman In the bathtub has soap in her hole.

Lump Jokes More Lump Jokes

What's the M0D's name before they're triggered; turning into a furious, putrid, lump of blubber?

Bruce Banner

How did the little boy save the catholic priest's life?

He found a lump on his testicle.

Coal Jokes More Coal Jokes

What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together?

Carbon Dating.

What do you call it when one piece of coal asks another piece of coal out to dinner?

Carbon dating.