Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas?

They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal.

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

Why was Santa's little helper depressed?

Because he had low elf esteem.

Who'd win if Batman fought Santa?

Before u say Batman, just remember who's watching you answer.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the deaf, dumb, blind orphan get for Christmas?

Cancer!*

What does a Mexican cop say when he wishes you a Merry Christmas?

Police Navidad.

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

What's the difference between a Nun and a lady taking a bath?

The Nun has hope in her soul and the lady taking a bath has soap in her hole.

How is marriage and CPR training the same?

You get a certificate for showing you can do it and hope to god you never have to do it again

Lump Jokes More Lump Jokes

What do you call a lump of cats?

A meowtain

Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas?

They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal.

Coal Jokes More Coal Jokes

Why did the Cephalopod get coal for christmas?

Because he was on the nautilust.

What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together?

Carbon Dating.