How do old people check up to see how their friends are doing?

They look in the obituary

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why can't a soldier look wistfully across the horizon?

Because there are no gaze in the military

What do elephants say as a compliment ?

You look elephantastic !

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

How will you be paying, sir?

Check mate"..

What did the pirate photographer say?

Check out my DSL-Arrrgh.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

How much credibility is there in that whole "you can punch yourself handsome" theory?

Asking for a friend.

What do black people with Down's Syndrome call their friends?

Their Chromies

Old People Jokes More Old People Jokes

What kind of underwear do old people wear?

Depends.

Why do old people read the bible so much?

I asked my grandad the other day "why do old people read the bible so much?" He replied "cause we're cramming for finals"