Old People Jokes

What do you call it when old people are forced into slavery?

Indentured servitude.

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Whats do a baby and old people have in common?

They both get ditched in the park

What do kids yell at old people who are just trying to play?

GET OFF MY LAN!

What kid of music do old people listen to?

Hip-Pop

What technology are old people better at using than young people?

Life support.

What has 5 teeth and 60 eyes?

A bus full of old people

Why do old people read the bible so much?

I asked my grandad the other day "why do old people read the bible so much?" He replied "cause we're cramming for finals"

What kind of underwear do old people wear?

Depends.

What do old people smell like?

Depends

How do old people go to the bathroom?

Depends.

What do you call a bus driver who helps old people and parents with children on and off the bus?

A stand up driver.

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What do old people often do?

Die

What do old people always keep in their back pocket?

Depends.

Why is your shirt on wrong?

Daughter: I think you old people call it: "second base"

Why are there so many old people in Church?

They're cramming for the final.

Why do people say children are the future?

They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.

Why don't old people like tennis?

There's too much racket

How do old people check up to see how their friends are doing?

They look in the obituary

What do old people with Alzheimer's often say?

I don't remember.

Why do old people prefer to live in one story houses?

There close to the ground.

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Bible Jokes More Bible Jokes

How accurate is the Bible?

100% at short range

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What's the difference between Colin Kaepernick and a martyr?

One stood for something

How did the sheep get a Nobel Prize?

It was out standing in its field!

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

How did Helen Kellers parents punish her?

They gave her a basketball and told her to read.

Why accountants don't read novels?

Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What do you call an old person trying to fit in with today's kids?

A dislocated hipster.

How do you make a racing snail faster?

I tried taking his shell off but it only made him more sluggish.

Cram Jokes More Cram Jokes

How was Jackie Gleason put into his casket?

Crammed in.

How do you study for a prostate exam?

By cramming.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did the Lebo die?

Cause he was fullllly sik m8.

Why did Jesus take three days to resurrect after dying on the cross?

Because the date wasn't nailed down.

Depend Jokes More Depend Jokes

What's the best time of this month for vampires?

It depends on the girl

How many Economists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Depends on the supply and demand curve

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Where do children learn their ABC's ?

At LMN-tary school !

What do you call it when a Spanish man goes to court for custody of his children?

Fight for your right to padre