Evening Jokes

What is a caffeine addict's excuse for drinking coffee in the evening?

It's 8:00 somewhere!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What cuts four farts in the morning, two farts at midday, and three farts in the evening?

A sphinxter.

What's the opposite of evening?

unevening.

What happens to all the unsold christmas trees?

A Total TreeCull. Basically, on the evening of December 25th, every christmas tree salesperson does the trees

What did Dr. Frankenstein say when his monster showed up for the ball?

You look quite put-together this evening.

What do elephants do in the evenings ?

Watch elevision !

What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening?

Have a nice bite!

What has 4 legs in the morning, two at lunch, and three in the evening?

A cannibal

What would Caitlyn Jenner need to do if she changed her mind about being a woman?

She would need to reJennerate some balls. What does Caitlyn Jenner do before she goes out Bruce's up for the evening.

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the evening and 6 legs at night?

I've trapped it in my bedroom, send help...

What has four limbs in the morning, two limbs in the afternoon, and is dead by evening?

A disobedient slave.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why does the house only have one window?

Cheeseburger (joke from my 3 year old neice this evening)

What's white in the morning, white in the afternoon and white in the evening?

An Irishman trying to get a tan.

What is the cat's favourite TV show ?

The evening mews !

What do romantic fish sing to each other?

Salmon-chanted evening !

Why are cats longer in the evening than they are in the morning?

Because they're let out in the evening and taking in in the morning !

What losses its head in the morning and gets it back in the evening?

A pillow

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Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100?

At 69 she always gets a frog in her throat.

What's white and in the men's 100M final?

The lines.

Tomorrow Jokes More Tomorrow Jokes

What did you get your mom for Mother's Day tomorrow?

Besides a tiny, brief panic attack

What am I supposed to take tomorrow?

Doctor: That was a 30 day supply. Me: Whoops.

0 Jokes More 0 Jokes

What did 0 say to 1?

You're turning me on!

Why did George Lucas Cross The Road?

To urinate on my childhood and sell it back to be on blu-ray for $80.

Destroy Jokes More Destroy Jokes

When do cops blow up and destroy shopping centers and Walmarts?

During Black Friday.

Why do christians burn fossil fuels?

They're trying to destroy the evidence.

Hellen Keller Jokes More Hellen Keller Jokes

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver?

She is a woman.

What was the first thing Hellen Keller noticed at the beach?

The volleyball net.

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

What do you call a nut on a wall?

A walnut! What do you call a nut at the beach A beech nut! What do you call a nut in the toilet A peanut!!

How do you know you're flying over Poland?

A: Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.

Estimate Jokes More Estimate Jokes

Why do Asian people never seem to age?

I met a chinese girl today & I estimate her age to be somewhere between 4 & 197.

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

Vote Jokes More Vote Jokes

Why don't cows drink milk?

because they lactose I don't know why I found this so funny! ready for the down vote to begin 3

What do you call a pig that votes?

Polled pork.