How old?

Woman: "Thanks, she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time " Me: "Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What's the sound of a one-handed corpse clapping?

Dead silence. What's the sound of a one-handed zombie clapping? Undead silence. Thanks to my gaming group for those.

Where do chicken strips find love?

Chicken tinder Thank you, to Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen's official Instagram for this gem

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What's upside down and downside up at the same time ?

A kid with cerebral palsy living in Australia

What time does Sean Connery show up at Wimbledon every year?

About tennish.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why can't rock climbing instructors get dates?

Because they rappel men and women.

What do you yell when a woman falls of a boat?

Full speed ahead

Midnight Jokes More Midnight Jokes

How do you know when it's midnight at Neverland Ranch?

The big hand touches the little hand.

Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?

She wanted to get a dark tan.