Want to hear a chimney joke?

Got stacks of em! First one's on the house

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How do you sell a chicken to a deaf man?

pause....) WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN??!! (SHOUTING)

How do you want to handle your mother in law?

Do you want her incinerated, embalmed or buried -All of them, lets not take any chances

House Jokes More House Jokes

How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's House?

All right, all right, all right..

How do you know if hippies have been in your house?

They are still there.

Stack Jokes More Stack Jokes

Why did the Ottoman empire collapse?

Once your stack of Ottomans gets to a certain height it will fall over.

What do you call a hundred blondes stacked up on each other?

An air mattress.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What are the two things someone with a face tattoo never hears?

You're hired" "Not guilty"

Who directed this?

HIM: "A bear attack." ME: "Never heard of him."

Get Jokes More Get Jokes

What did one leper say to another?

Got yer nose!

What did the lobster say when he saw the mermaid?

Gotta lay off the sea-weed.

Em Jokes More Em Jokes

What's the motto for Child Protective Services?

You shake em' we take em!"

What is your favorite one to two line joke?

Keep em coming boys and gals. This is making my 15 car ride way better!