How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it

How many vegetables should you pull out of the ground in one day?

None

House Jokes More House Jokes

What the hell is this REstraining Order?

I never even got a Straining Order I'm gonna go over to her house and sort this out.

When is paint free?

When it's on the house.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why do Communists only write in lowercase?

Because they hate Capitalism.

Which day do chickens hate the most?

Friday.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Why should you never play Uno with a foreigner?

Because they will always steal the green cards.

Why do black people play basketball?

Because it teaches them how to shoot, run and steal.

Shape Jokes More Shape Jokes

What shape is your hair in the morning?

A wrecktangle. (Made up by my 10 year old daughter :)

What are the best kinds of speedbumps?

Orphan shaped ones.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How many Screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: The bulbs IN and it's staying IN!

Why can't anyone stay angry long with an actress?

Because she always makes up.

Chase Jokes More Chase Jokes

Why did Prince Eric leave Ariel when she became a human?

He was just chasing tail.

What have you been doing" asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of elephants on vines" "Really ?

said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground !"

Ostrich Jokes More Ostrich Jokes

How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it

Why were the camels wearing sandals?

To stop themselves sinking into the sand. Why did the ostrich stick its head in the sand To look at the camels who forgot to put their sandals on.