What have you been doing" asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of elephants on vines" "Really ?

said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground !"

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What did the Mtis people think of the look on Stephen Harper's face when he lost the election?

They though it was Riel funny!

What's faster, the speed of thought or the speed of light?

Neither, it's diarrhea. Before you could think about it or even turn the lights on, you've already shat yourself.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?

He was already taking out a tooth

How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?

I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed ?

When your nose touches the ceiling !

What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear ?

Anything you want as he can't hear you !

Herd Jokes More Herd Jokes

What did the sheep say to the sheepdog faking deafness?

You herd me!"

What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?

The first herd shot round the world!

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What have you been doing" asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of elephants on vines" "Really ?

said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground !"

Where do black people stay when they visit Alaska?

A nigloo

Chase Jokes More Chase Jokes

Why are people who vape always trying to chase after bigger clouds?

More storage space.

Why did the business dog chase his tail?

So he could make ends meet!

Ground Jokes More Ground Jokes

How is called the funeral of an electrical engineer?

Grounding

What is the real reason leaves fall to the ground?

They know people will blow them.

Vine Jokes More Vine Jokes

Why were the German tomatoes drunk?

Because they'd been on the vine.

What have you been doing" asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of elephants on vines" "Really ?

said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground !"

Jane Jokes More Jane Jokes

How are monster trucks made?

ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: glares ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane

Why didn't Tarzan and Jane manage to save their marriage?

Because Tarzan was swingin' from three to three.