How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin?

She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Why do hipsters burn their lips when they drink tea?

Because they drink it before it's cool.

What do you get if a post office burns down?

Black mail.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why the hell would I use turn signals?

I know where we're going.

What is the only English word a French-Canadian knows?

Sorry.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How many of my ex-girlfriends does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. Apparently she will screw anything.

What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild?

A $100 bill.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How can we keep our school Clean?

Student : By Staying at home. :p

What time is our movie tonight?

Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 "Back off ladies. He's mine"

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why does Mexico do so poorly in the Olympics?

Because everybody who can run, jump, or swim is already in America.

What do you call a leper in a jacuzzi?

Stew. Bonus: what do you do if an epileptic jumps into a jacuzzi? You throw in your laundry.

Wanna Jokes More Wanna Jokes

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Wanna go ride a bike?

What's up with all these idiots on TV trying to talk to ghosts?

I don't even wanna talk to the living.

Calorie Jokes More Calorie Jokes

How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin?

She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.

Why did the arsonist go to the gym?

To burn some calories.

Conclusion Jokes More Conclusion Jokes

How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin?

She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.

My older brother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why.

I had to draw my own conclusions.