How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin?

She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Who is Bobby Long?

and why do all these reggae artists keep talking about wanting to burn him.

What do a Bernie Sanders supporter, a Cross-Fitter, and a person with Herpes have in common?

They all "Feel The Burn!"

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why did the boat know it had a leak?

That sinking feeling...

How do you know a presidential candidate is lying?

Their lips are moving.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What is the best gift you can give your girlfriend for your anniversary?

Nothing. It's a gift she will always remember. Edit: Wording clarified (Thanks to therinnovator).

What did Santa say when he saw your mom, sister, and girlfriend all together in the same room?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain?

A: Stegosaur-rust!

What goes around the world yet stays in the corner?

Stamp

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why did you jump on a turtle?

Me: Because I'm a plumber

What did the physicist say to the man about to jump off a building?

Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

Wanna Jokes More Wanna Jokes

Hey, wanna hear a joke?

Parsing HTML with regex.

Why is that whenever we talk about pokemon, we sing the theme song?

Because I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was.

Calorie Jokes More Calorie Jokes

How many calories does heartache burn?

Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.

What are calories?

Little elves that tighten your waistband on your pants a little every night

Conclusion Jokes More Conclusion Jokes

What is said at the conclusion of a lesbian marriage ceremony?

You may fist the bride

My older brother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why.

I had to draw my own conclusions.