How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Wanna go ride a bike?

Why does d' perfect Irish stew require exactly two hundred n' terty nine beans?

Because if you added one more it'd be two farty.

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What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

I drew drew

How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

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What does the Queen put on her toast?

Maamilade! Tada....... anyone? Anyone? I'll get my coat

Why is a dog so warm in Summer?

He wears a coat and pants.

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What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

What do Pimps and Santa have in common?

They stay with 3 ho's