How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

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What happened when Apple added the new touchbar?

They're taking away functions, and there's no escape.

How do you know that Keira Knightley doesn't exist?

A: Because the camera adds 10 pounds.

Painter Jokes More Painter Jokes

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

I love you with all my art!"

What did the painter say to the wall?

A: One more crack, and I'll plaster you.

Coat Jokes More Coat Jokes

What does an octopus wear on a cold day?

A coat of arms!

What do you call a shop that sells aquatic vessels?

A boat-ique. ...I'll get my coat.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Whoa what do you do for a living?

I STAY AWAKE FOR A LIVING!" *roundhouse kicks barista*

What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do?

Stays up all night pondering the existence of a dog