Add Jokes

How do you make a dead baby float?

Easy! Just add Root beer and Ice Cream!

This joke may have profanity.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What can you add to any food to make it taste better?

The word "free"

What do you get when you add root beer to a square cup?

Beer.

How do you turn soup to gold?

Add 24 carrots

How do you make a salad wrap?

By adding some beets

Why did the agnostic man cross the road?

To get to the other side, but he was very spiritually uncertain add he did so.

How do you make soup golden?

You add 24 carrots.

What did 'b' say to his friend 'e' after 'e' saved his life?

AY E! I O U edit: added Y

Why doesn't anyone ever add Paul Walker on Xbox?

He spends all of his time on the dashboard.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Wanna go ride a bike?

How do you help someone with ADD or ADHD?

Send them to a concentration camp!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why was the monkey attracted to the paint?

Cuz it was yellow and appealing! Sorry if this is bad. Seen too many of the same jokes here and I wanted to add an original joke.

What did the abacus say to the adding machine?

Calc you later!

What happens when you accidently add an extra p to tp?

Banned from

How do you add up a mountain?

You summit.

Whats camp for kids with ADD called?

Concentration camp.

How do you turn chicken masala into chicken marsala?

Have a pirate cook it...they always add an "arrr"...

What did the author say when he added a chapter about flour to a story about soup?

The plot thickens!

How do you make a latte?

Add $5 to a cup of coffee.

How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb?

Wanna go ride bikes? My all time favorite joke. Sorry if it has already been posted but who has the time to browse all of .

Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?

He was making up for lost thyme. Thank you, thank you. I'll just show myself out now.

Why couldn't the skeleton add 1 + 1?

Because he doesn't have a brain

What's your best limerick?

There once was a fellow McSweeny Who spilled some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth Then slipped his girlfriend a martini

What do you do when you find Michael J. Fox in your hot tub?

Add your laundry.

Why sugars are very unhappy these days?

It is sweet but still is not getting added do any thing!

Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?

A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

How do you turn soup into gold?

You add 24 carats!

When does a bed grow longer?

A: At night, because two feet are added to it.

How does a cow add and subtract?

With a cowculator.

Why does d' perfect Irish stew require exactly two hundred n' terty nine beans?

Because if you added one more it'd be two farty.

How about Santa?

Ok but let's add something fierce so they are afraid to defy him

Why would they add "twerk" to the dictionary?

People that would use said word can't read.

How do you stick things together like Fred Flinstone?

You add a dab of glue.

What makes a pun, fun?

Add an h.

Why didn't the Irishman add another bean?

He stopped at 239 because if he added another one it would be 'too farty'. It would've been funnier if I could do an Irish accent.

What would you call an additional day added to the week?

Sumday

What did you get 100 in?

Jason: Two things: I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History. Mother: Well at least you can add !

How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

Why, don't you look nice!?

I said, "Thanks." "It wasn't a compliment." she added.

How do you stir up the politics in a Coca Cola drink?

You add ices.

How many raisins do I have to add to this bag of M&Ms before it qualifies as trail mix?

One I say one.

What do you get when you add 2 apples to 3 apples?

A senior high school math problem.

How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.

What does batman like adding to his drinks?

JUST-ICE

What does batman add to his tea?

Just ice.

What are the type of numbers you get when you take an integer and add it to itself?

I can't even

What did phenolphthalein do when he couldn't understand his Chemistry homework?

He just added Acetic Acid until it became clear.

How do you make one girl disappear?

just add a G and now she's gone.

How are you doing in arithmetic ?

I've learned to add up the zeros but the numbers are still giving me trouble.

What did the man say who couldn't add the same number to itself?

I can't even...

What do you call a Children's show with some Alcohol added in?

Booze Clues.

Why is Irish bean soup made with 239 beans?

Because if you add even one more it gets "2 farty".

What's the worst kind of joke?

Clickbait. Edit: Added a space which triggered someone.

Why is a dog with a lame leg like adding 6 and 7s?

He puts down the three and carries the one.

How do you know that Keira Knightley doesn't exist?

A: Because the camera adds 10 pounds.

How can you make a soup rich?

Add 14 carrots (carats) to it.

How do you make an Ethiopian grow?

Just add water.

What's the integral of 1/cabin with respect to cabin?

Person 2: A log cabin! Person 1: No, a houseboat. You forgot to add the C!!

Why did NBC add the Michael J. Fox Show to its line-up?

To shake things up on network tv.

Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and 7 on a calulator?