Mountain Jokes

Why do you never play hide & seek with mountains?

Mountains peak.

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What would a Scotsman call a mountain which is on the moon?

A moon-tain.

How does the author of harry potter descend a mountain?

On foot, how else? JK Rowling

What did the mole hill say to the mountain?

I see my ex came by."

What Nationality was Otzi the Caveman?

He wasn't Italian, because he carried work tools, he wasn't Austrian, since he had some brains, he might have been Swiss, since he was outrun by a glacier, but most probably he was a German, because nobody else ever walks in sandals in the mountains.

Why did the plane crash into the mountain?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What do you call a man who jokes that women always make mountains out of molehills?

An ambulance.

How do you add up a mountain?

You summit.

How did Harry potter get down the mountain?

Running... JK rolling

How does a sheep farmer find a sheep on top of the mountain ?

Acceptable

Why do I always sit in the back of an airplane?

Cos iv never heard of an airplane reverse into a mountain... ill help myself out...

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What do you get when you cross a mountain and a desert?

Very tired feet.

Why are the mountains in Switzerland called "the Alps"?

Because when people fall off of 'em, they yell AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLPPPP!!!!!!!!

What did one mountain say to the other mountain after an earthquake?

A: It's not my fault.

What is green and glides down a mountain?

A skiwi

What is a volcano?

A: A mountain with the hiccups.

What do you call a mountain of kittens?

A meowtain

Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.

What did the mountain say to the desert?

you're hot"

Why do mountains make people laugh?

Because they're hill-areas!

Why don't mountains get cold?

They wear snow caps. *cringe* Courtesy of Westjet's horrible phone line.

What do you call a mountain of puns?

Mount Cleverest

What did the tree say to the mountain?

A: Stop peaking at me.

What do you get if you cross a mountain and a baby ?

A cry for Alp !

What's tall, white and has ears?

A mountain.

What's the difference between... A gold fish and a mountain goat?

One mucks about the mountain. What's the difference between a police batton and a magician's wand One is used for cunning stunts.

What do you call 13 dwarves and a hobbit inside a mountain?

A *smaugasbord*.

What did one mountain say to the other mountain?

Nothing. They were both stoned.

What's the difference between my GoPro and my girlfriend?

I wouldn't spend hours looking for my girlfriend at a ski resort if I lost her on the mountain.

You see, mountains aren't just funny.

They are hill areas.

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Mountain Goat Jokes More Mountain Goat Jokes

When is a mountain goat not a mountain goat?

When he's a hillbilly.

Whats the difference between a fish and a mountain goat?

Fish muck about in fountains

Mosquito Jokes More Mosquito Jokes

What religion do mosquitoes follow?

Muslim, because they go to a mosque...ito. Sorry.

Why are mosquitos religious ?

They prey on you !

Scotsman Jokes More Scotsman Jokes

What did the Scotsman say when he went for another drink?

Hey, where'd my Glascow "

How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Scotsmen don't change light bulbs it's cheaper to sit in the dark

Cunning Stunt Jokes More Cunning Stunt Jokes

What is the difference between an event at the X Games and a sorrority?

One is a bunch of Cunning Stunts

What is the difference between a brothel and a circus?

One is an array of cunning stunts!

Magician Wand Jokes More Magician Wand Jokes

What's the difference between... A gold fish and a mountain goat?

One mucks about the mountain. What's the difference between a police batton and a magician's wand One is used for cunning stunts.

What's the difference between a magicians wand and a policeman's baton?

A magicians wand is used for cunning stuns.

Earthquake Jokes More Earthquake Jokes

What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common?

Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.

What did one mountain say to the other mountain after an earthquake?

A: It's not my fault.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the shrimp cross the road?

To get to the other tide.

Why did the sushi cross the road?

Sushi could get to the other side.

Mountain Dew Jokes More Mountain Dew Jokes

What is the highest point in Israel?

Mountain Dew.

What do you get when you cross Batman with Mountain Dew?

Dew diligance