Israel Jokes

Why is the state of Israel like laundry?

Its a part Tide

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What would Israel be called if it was make believe?

Isfaek.

Why does the US love Israel so much?

Because is a raeli good country

What do you get when you dissolve Zyklon B into Israel's water supply?

A final solution

What is the highest point in Israel?

Mountain Dew.

What's the most popular search engine in Israel?

They surf the Net On Yahoo.

What do they call American Liberty in Israel?

A valid target.

What's the most popular contraceptive in Israel?

Iron condome

What's the National Vegetable of Israel?

Ariel Sharon

How was your trip to Israel?

This month they had Sukkot (the festival of tabernacles) It was pretty "in tents".

What do you get when you cross a matzo ball with LSD?

A: A trip to Israel.

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Why doesn't ISIS attack Israel?

Same reason children don't attack their parents...

What is the famous martial art of Israel?

Jiu-Jitsu

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Tide Jokes More Tide Jokes

Why do I wash my clothes in TIDE?

because it's too cold out-tide.

Why did the Eskimo wash his clothes in tide?

Because it was too cold out tide.

Festival Jokes More Festival Jokes

What do Cooperstown and Woodstock have in common?

Cooperstown is where Baseball wasn't invented and Woodstock is where the festival didn't happen.

How was your trip to Israel?

This month they had Sukkot (the festival of tabernacles) It was pretty "in tents".

Surf Jokes More Surf Jokes

How deep is the ocean?

A shark spooked him while he was surfing.

Why can't you surf on microwaves?

Because they're too small.

Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

What do the leaders of ISIS drink after a victory?

Bombay.

What do you call an Asian guy who is a member of ISIS?

RICE-IS

Laundry Jokes More Laundry Jokes

What do you get when you do laundry and accidentally leave chocolate in your pocket?

Lindt choclate.

What should you do when your epileptic child starts seizing in the bathtub?

Throw in your laundry!

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

What would your parents say if I called them?

I replied, "Hello "

How do her parents punish Helen Keller?

By leaving the plunger in the toilet.

Tent Jokes More Tent Jokes

Why does camping never get boring?

Because it's in tents.

What do Plains Native Americans have in common with moderately sized sea dwelling mammals?

For all in tents and porpoises, they're constantly moving.

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

How are men like television commercials?

A. You can't believe a word either one of them says and they both last about 30 seconds.

Why shouldn't Canadian adults laugh at children who believe in the Easter Bunny?

Because most of them still believe in Justin Trudeau