What type of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uniball.

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What kind of operating system do horses use?

None. Horses are not known to use operating systems nor computers for that matter.

Why is George R.R. Martin really bad at using Twitter?

There's a limit to how many characters you are allowed to waste.

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What type of rock is this Holmes?

It's sedimentary my dear Watson!

What type of writing is the most profitable?

A ransom note.

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Where do pens and pencils go on vacation?

Pennsylvania

Where do bad pigs go?

They get sent to the pen.

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Why such hate on Lance Armstrong?

I think his riding style is pretty dope.

What do the Patriots and Lance Armstrong have in common?

They only have one good ball.