Why did Peter Parker get fired?

He spent all day on the web.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why can't Brock Turner go to jail?

Because with swim times like his, he might be president some day.

What's the difference between Jesus and other carpenters?

Jesus may actually return some day.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you get when you cross a duck with an octopus?

Fired and blacklisted from the genetics industry.

Why did the employee get fired from the calendar manufacturing company?

He took a day off

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

How do you win a small fortune in Las Vegas?

By spending a large fortune.

Why are fish cleverer than humans?

Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?

Peter Parker Jokes More Peter Parker Jokes

Why did Peter Parker get fired?

He spent all day on the web.

What do you call a Spider-man that is a valet?

A Peter Parker

Web Jokes More Web Jokes

What do you call someone who hates browsing the web with Google?

A Chromophobe.

How did spider-man reach the inner city kids?

He web-slang