Painter Jokes

What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

I drew drew

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What did the painter say to the paint can?

A lot of good you are . (the joke is that the paint can is empty)

What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter?

Mohammed Dali

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

How does a painter support their art in this economy?

Easel-y

Which painter always had a very bad cold?

Vincent Van Cough

What did the painter say to the wall?

A: One more crack, and I'll plaster you.

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

I love you with all my art!"

How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

What did the painter do when he was angry?

He made a scene.

What does a painter do when he gets cold?

Puts on another coat.

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Why did the painter from Boston have trouble making friends?

He was way too autistic for his own good.

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Rich Painter Jokes More Rich Painter Jokes

Who is the richest painter?

Manet.

Who is the richest painter ever?

Monet.

Stripe Jokes More Stripe Jokes

How are tigers like sergeants in the army ?

They both wear stripes !

Why does Waldo only wear stripes?

Because he doesn't want to be spotted.

Andrew Jokes More Andrew Jokes

What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

I drew drew

Who's there ! Andrew ! Andrew who ?

Andrew all her money out of the bank !

Wedding Ring Jokes More Wedding Ring Jokes

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

What are the 3 rings involved in marriage?

1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

What is the difference between a painting and jesus?

A painting only need one nail to hang

What's the difference between a nail and a painting?

It only takes one nail to hang a painting.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

Where's that?

Hawaii Where's that -Jamaica Daddy where was I -You weren't born Why's the folder called 'Good Ole Days'

When two bears asked a pastor to marry them in the forest, what did he say?

Hold on, let me get my bear rings."

Brah Jokes More Brah Jokes

Who is a bodybuilder's favourite painter?

Gainsborough(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ThomasGainsborough) Pronounced "Gainz, brah"

Where do you find a zebra?

25 letters after a, brah.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What's the name of that German guy that keeps hiding my stuff around the house?

Alzheimer, Grandma.

What did the blind man say when he was asked what he thought about the renovation plan of his house?

I don't know.. I just don't see it.