Painter Jokes

What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

I drew drew

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What did the painter say to the paint can?

A lot of good you are . (the joke is that the paint can is empty)

What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter?

Mohammed Dali

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

How does a painter support their art in this economy?

Easel-y

Which painter always had a very bad cold?

Vincent Van Cough

What did the painter say to the wall?

A: One more crack, and I'll plaster you.

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

I love you with all my art!"

How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

What did the painter do when he was angry?

He made a scene.

What does a painter do when he gets cold?

Puts on another coat.

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Why did the painter from Boston have trouble making friends?

He was way too autistic for his own good.

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

How do you find Ronald McDonald on a naked beach?

His sesame seed buns!

Why do you never find elephants hiding in trees?

Because they are really good at it.

Support Jokes More Support Jokes

Why do brothels support Hillary?

Cause #FeelTheBern would be bad for business.

What's the one public place that most people still support the separation of Colors and Whites?

The laundromat.

Zebra Jokes More Zebra Jokes

Where do you find a zebra?

25 letters after a, brah.

What did the guy Zebra say to the girl Zebra?

Take ze bra off.

Wedding Ring Jokes More Wedding Ring Jokes

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

Where's your wedding ring?

I said, "I had to wash my hands so I took it off and placed it on my lover--I mean your mother's kitchen counter."

Economy Jokes More Economy Jokes

What is similar between Spain, Ireland, and the United States?

Their economies falter after a popping of a housing bubble.

How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

Andrew Jokes More Andrew Jokes

Who's there ! Andrew ! Andrew who ?

Andrew all her money out of the bank !

What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

I drew drew

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What wears a bright red suit and knows if you've been naught..or nice?

The Spanish Inquisition.

Why do mermaids wear bras?

To cover up their Ariel-as.

Brah Jokes More Brah Jokes

Where do you find a zebra?

25 letters after a, brah.

Who is a bodybuilder's favourite painter?

Gainsborough(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ThomasGainsborough) Pronounced "Gainz, brah"