Painter Jokes

What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

I drew drew

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What did the painter say to the paint can?

A lot of good you are . (the joke is that the paint can is empty)

What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter?

Mohammed Dali

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

How does a painter support their art in this economy?

Easel-y

Which painter always had a very bad cold?

Vincent Van Cough

What did the painter say to the wall?

A: One more crack, and I'll plaster you.

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

I love you with all my art!"

How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

What did the painter do when he was angry?

He made a scene.

What does a painter do when he gets cold?

Puts on another coat.

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Why did the painter from Boston have trouble making friends?

He was way too autistic for his own good.

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Support Jokes More Support Jokes

Why don't Muslims support Harambe?

Because it would

What did the left breast say to the right breast?

We better get some support soon or everyone'll think we're nuts

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a fish?

Swimming trunks

Why did the accountant cross the street?

To crunch numbers.

Wedding Ring Jokes More Wedding Ring Jokes

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

Rich Painter Jokes More Rich Painter Jokes

Who is the richest painter?

Manet.

Who is the richest painter ever?

Monet.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What kind of house does Chuck Norris live in?

A roundhouse.

What do you get if you play a country music song backwards?

You get your wife back. Your house back. Your truck back. Your dog back...

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call a bunch of people buying non-brand name ice skates?

Cheapskates getting cheap skates

Why do people traveling east out of Sweden get a metal?

Because they're crossing the Finnish line.

Andrew Jokes More Andrew Jokes

What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

I drew drew

Who's there ! Andrew ! Andrew who ?

Andrew all her money out of the bank !

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?

You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish.

Why do you have to take two Baptists with you when you go fishing?

Answer: Because if you only take one, he'll drink all your beer.