What is a caffeine addict's excuse for drinking coffee in the evening?

It's 8:00 somewhere!

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

How many Mormons do you take fishing with you?

Two. If you only take one, he'll drink all your beer.

Where did the joke wait to get a drink?

The punch line...

800 Jokes More 800 Jokes

How many NRA members does it take to stop a 6-year-old paraplegic from stealing a candy bar?

Nobody knows - they usually lose count at 800 rounds.

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

Evening Jokes More Evening Jokes

What do romantic fish sing to each other?

Salmon-chanted evening !

What happens to all the unsold christmas trees?

A Total TreeCull. Basically, on the evening of December 25th, every christmas tree salesperson does the trees