What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What did the chemist say when hr found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe

Why were there only 40,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?

They only had 2 trucks

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Where the hell are u?

ME: Well...u know that shop where u saw that ring you love W: OMG YES M: I'm catching Pokemon near there

How can you tell elephants love to travel ?

They are always packing their trunk !

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What do Twitter users and regular humans have in common?

Both start off as eggs.

Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

Why do they make condoms with ribs?

So you can get traction in the mud.

Why don't gypsies use condoms ?

They have crystal balls so they see it coming.

Send Jokes More Send Jokes

How did Bourne send data to the CIA?

JSON

Why do parents send their toddlers to the army for daycare?

Because they're sending them to the infantry!

800 Jokes More 800 Jokes

How many NRA members does it take to stop a 6-year-old paraplegic from stealing a candy bar?

Nobody knows - they usually lose count at 800 rounds.

Why did the spud lover set his alarm for 8:00?

Because he wanted to get a-po-ta-to clock. to make joke more apparent

Rule Jokes More Rule Jokes

Who would rule in a dog world ?

The pawlice.

Why did god invent whiskey?

x-post /r/drunkjokes) So the Irish would never rule the world

Llama Jokes More Llama Jokes

What does Rick and the Llama have in common?

Caaaaarl!!

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.