Why did god invent whiskey?

x-post /r/drunkjokes) So the Irish would never rule the world

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World Jokes More World Jokes

How do feminists screw in a lightbulb?

By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them EDIT: Rip inbox EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold!

What goes all around the world but stays in one corner the entire time?

Stamps!

God Jokes More God Jokes

Why doesn't god like bacon?

Because he isn't real.

What does a Muslim have if they hate their god?

An Allahgy

Invent Jokes More Invent Jokes

Why did they invent the shopping cart?

To teach women to walk on their hind legs.

What do Cooperstown and Woodstock have in common?

Cooperstown is where Baseball wasn't invented and Woodstock is where the festival didn't happen.

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

What do you call 3 Irish tree surgeons?

Tree fellas

What's Irish and sits on your lawn?

paddy o' furniture

Rule Jokes More Rule Jokes

What is the worst place to have the "you break it, you buy it" rule?

The pet store

What did the sign say?

Grandkids: No children in shopping cart :(( Me: Rules are rules.

Whiskey Jokes More Whiskey Jokes

What did u do last night?

Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying

What is a long distance love?

It's when you're in the office, bed is at home and whiskey is in the bar.