Why did God invent shopping carts?

To teach women how to walk on their hind legs.

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Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

How many performance artists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't know either, I walked out early too.

What do you call it when someone gets hit by a bus on his way to pay off his student loans?

Crippling debt! It's funny because he can't walk anymore!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What did the sign convention management do to the woman who kept pulling down their long signs?

Banner.

Why do women over 40 don't play hide and seek?

Because nobody is looking for them.

God Jokes More God Jokes

Why does Martin Luther King like jam?

Because God bless America

What do you do when you want to golf in a thunderstorm?

Hold up a 1 Iron. Not even God can hit a 1 iron.

Invent Jokes More Invent Jokes

Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet?

That thing hurts!

Where was the toothbrush invented?

West Virginia, anywhere else it would be called the teethbrush

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

Why can't Snape teach Herbology?

A. He can't keep the lilies alive.

How many beers did you have while I was gone?

Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake.

Hind Leg Jokes More Hind Leg Jokes

What do you call a dachshund with no hind legs and balls of steel?

Sparky.

What do you call a dog with no hind legs and steel balls?

Sparky.

Shopping Cart Jokes More Shopping Cart Jokes

What does a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common?

They both can be used to carry vegetables....

What's the difference between a shopping cart and a radical feminist?

A shopping cart will, on occasion, exhibit a mind of it's own