Rule Jokes

What's the first rule of contradiction club?

There is no contradiction club

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What is the worst place to have the "you break it, you buy it" rule?

The pet store

What do you call a lawmaker in a society ruled by horses that says one thing but does the opposite?

A hippocratic hypocrite.

Why does pokemon have only one save file per game?

I mean think about it, One for Charmander One for Squirtle and one for your second charmander. (found that but it's against rules to post links lol so I'll just leave that here for a good laugh)

What's the difference between a catholic and and a catoholic?

One is devoted to following to rules laid down by those who consider their will that of the divine. The other is a type of christian.

What do you call a developmentally challenged member of the ruling elite?

An autistocrat.

What do you call a country ruled by dank memes?

Kappatalism

How do you get banned from a subreddit without breaking the rules?

Post something humorous in . P.S: Is there anyway to ungild myself?

What's the first rule for hitting on girls?

Hit them where it won't show.

What does a fish say when he hits concrete?

Dam! A customer told me that joke, equipped with an " old guys rule" shirt and a hardy fist bump.

Who would rule in a dog world ?

The pawlice.

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What do the umpires rule it?

Fowl ball

What are the rules about Canadians?

Does everybody get one Do I get to choose Where do I sign up

What did the sign say?

Grandkids: No children in shopping cart :(( Me: Rules are rules.

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

What's the first rule of bug ownership?

Watch your step!

What famous chiropodist ruled England ?

William the Corn-cutter!

Who ruled France until he exploded?

A: Napoleon Blownapart!

How do you know the rules of football was written by an Italian?

You switch sides at half time.

What did Caesar say to Cleopatra ?

Toga-ether we can rule the world !

What is the first rule of Womans fight club?

Never tell anyone what are you so mad about

What's the first rule here, boys?

Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.

What do you call a vampire, that follows the rules?

Draculaw

What do you call a country ruled by oppressive Vikings?

Norse Korea

What cake wanted to rule the world?

Attila the Bun.

Why did god invent whiskey?

x-post /r/drunkjokes) So the Irish would never rule the world

What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives?

A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!

If I had to guess the religion of Daniel Day Lewis...

I would probably say Methodist.

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Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What's the difference between an elevator and a black guy?

The elevator can raise a child.

What did the U.S airdrop the the children of Syria?

Dead parents

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What game do two strangers with Social Anxiety play?

Don't Break the Ice

What do you say when a corrupt Soviet takes a bathroom break right before war?

Now you're just Stallin.

Christian Jokes More Christian Jokes

What happened to the Christian family when they didn't pay their exorcist?

THEIR HOUSE GOT REPOSSESSED!

How do you starve a right wing christian?

Hide their money in their bible.

Consider Jokes More Consider Jokes

Why wasn't the man considered attractive?

The laws of gravity didn't apply to him.

Why do most chicken coups have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 doors, it'd be considered a chicken sedan!

Violate Jokes More Violate Jokes

What do laws and virgins have in common?

They're both there to be violated. (The sad part is that a Portuguese Taxi Driver actually said that seriously in a protest against Uber)

What happens if you violate Reddit's content policy?

removed

Shopping Cart Jokes More Shopping Cart Jokes

What did the sign say?

Grandkids: No children in shopping cart :(( Me: Rules are rules.

Why did God invent shopping carts?

To teach women how to walk on their hind legs.

Squirtle Jokes More Squirtle Jokes

What did the Squirtle say to the Charmander?

X-post from /r/pokemon) Squirtle

Why does pokemon have only one save file per game?

I mean think about it, One for Charmander One for Squirtle and one for your second charmander. (found that but it's against rules to post links lol so I'll just leave that here for a good laugh)

Server Jokes More Server Jokes

What did the server say when the customer requested something they didn't have?

404

How many stuttering Mexicans does it take to crash a server?

D--Dos