Why did the spud lover set his alarm for 8:00?

Because he wanted to get a-po-ta-to clock. to make joke more apparent

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Why don't you transport onions by boat?

You don' want your boat to be full of leeks.

Why did the man turn on the lights in a depression clinic?

He wanted to lighten the mood in such a dim atmosphere.

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What did the cow say when she got hit by a car?

Moo." What did the cow saw when she fell into a ditch? "Moo." What did the cow say when she fell onto the electric fence? "Moo." What did the cow say when she got hit by a train? "Why does everything always happen to meeee?" Protip: My dad wrote this joke for me when I was six.

What do you call a joke that makes fun of a woman, who has not consented to be made fun of?

misogynistic.

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Why were the Ten Commandments so powerful?

Because they were set in stone.

What do you get when you move 32 Texans into the same room?

A full set of teeth

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What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

How do alien hunters keep from oversleeping?

They SETI their alarm-y

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Why did the spud lover set his alarm for 8:00?

Because he wanted to get a-po-ta-to clock. to make joke more apparent

What is a caffeine addict's excuse for drinking coffee in the evening?

It's 8:00 somewhere!

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What did the spud lover do before it went to bed?

A: It set its alarm for eight -- so it would get a potato clock.

Why did the spud lover set his alarm for 8:00?

Because he wanted to get a-po-ta-to clock. to make joke more apparent