What do you call a drunk who happens upon the scene of a crime?

an innocent bystumbler

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What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano?

He said "Darling you've got lovely teeth."

What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?

Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!

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Where do shapes go to pay for their crimes?

A prism.

How did the private eye use math to find the intent of the crime?

He solved for y! Thought this one up myself and thought it was post worthy

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What's the difference between a drunk and a stoner?

A drunk drives right through a stop sign, a stoner waits for it to turn green.

What are you gonna be for halloween?

Me: Drunk!

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What do you call a drunk who happens upon the scene of a crime?

an innocent bystumbler

Why are condoms transparent?

A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted!