Scene Jokes

What do you call a drunk who happens upon the scene of a crime?

an innocent bystumbler

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Why did the movie scene have a rusty pan?

Because Rusty thought the scene in the book was better. I'll show myself out. This is a horrible joke.

Why did the director get kicked out of the bar?

He was making a scene!

What is it called when a ninja flees the scene of an accident?

Hidden Run.

Who has scene a dinosaur?

No one! They're extinct!

What does CHAOS stand for?

A. The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.

How many Scene kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Some obscure number, you've probably never heard of it

What did the painter do when he was angry?

He made a scene.

Why are condoms transparent?

A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted!

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Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

What do you call Miley Cyrus with a gun?

A shooting star

What did the American vet did when he came to back from Vietnam?

The guns wasn't in the horse fixing resume!"

Arrive Jokes More Arrive Jokes

What does the atheist say when he arrives at the Pearly Gates?

I'll be goddamned.

Why was no at the Premature Ejaculaters' support group when I arrived?

I came early.

Wise Man Jokes More Wise Man Jokes

Why was Jesus not born in Australia?

Because God could not find three wise men and a virgin.

Why wasn't Jesus Christ born in Alabama?

They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

What's the dating scene like at MIT?

Carbon-14 is the most common method, I believe.

How did you know that the janitors were dating?

They were caught sweeping together.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What's a hairdressers's favourite Christmas song?

Oh comb all ye faithful'

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?

Fleece Navidad!

Flee Jokes More Flee Jokes

What does a Chicago cop say after emptying his clip into a fleeing suspect?

Stop. Police."

What do you call a fugitive, talking down to you while fleeing down the stairs?

a condescending con descending.

Crime Scene Jokes More Crime Scene Jokes

What did one cop say to the other cop while investigating a crime scene at a farm?

A rooster!

What do you call a midget hanging around a crime scene?

A little suspect

Virgin Jokes More Virgin Jokes

Why is the story of the Mayan Sacrifice girl so sad?

Because she died a virgin!

What do you call a virgin on a water bed?

A cherry float.