What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't opened his presents yet.

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call 222,215 Frenchman with their arms up?

The active french armed forces.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who's trying to get home?

A taxi

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you cal a man with no arms and no legs fighting with his cat?

Claude

Why do flamingos stand on one leg?

Because if they didn't they'd fall over.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do I know Sarah's a vegetarian?

Because I've me herbivore.

What do you call it when the women in the back of a mexican brothel talk after working all night?

Whorechata. Probably my best original, lemme know what you think.

Present Jokes More Present Jokes

How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader got him for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

How did SkyMall go bankrupt?

I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What does Santa and his elves listen to in their Christmas workshop?

WRAP MUSIC!

Why did Kim Jong-il die a week before December 25th?

Because Rudolph is the only deer leader at Christmas.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?

Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!

What did the double hand amputee get for Christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't managed to open it yet.

Boy Jokes More Boy Jokes

Why do think that?

The boy responds "Because he closes his eyes when he kisses me."

What does a parent say to their boy who keeps missing the toilet?

Urine trouble.