What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't opened his presents yet.

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call an Italian with no arms?

Deaf

Why did Jesus get all the ladies?

Because he was hung like this (extends arms to sides)

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What has fifty legs but still can't walk?

A: Half a centipede.

What's got four legs and one arm?

An attack dog in a preschool.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know Bono is selfish?

He does a lot of Pro-Bono work.

How do you know if a complete stranger is vegan?

They already told you.

Present Jokes More Present Jokes

What does Santa listen to while delivering presents?

sleigh-er

What happened to the girl who put too many deviating data into her box plot?

In the end her spread was so large she had to present it without any whiskers.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the disappointed smoker get for Christmas?

Clothes but no cigar...

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What time does Sean Connery go to the US Open?

Tennish

How is a computer like an air conditioner?

They both stop working properly when you open windows.

Boy Jokes More Boy Jokes

What did the boy tell the priest in the confessional?

Nothing. It's rude to talk with your mouth full.

What's the difference between a boy and a girl?

His dad answers, "Well, there's a vas deferens!"