What does an alcoholic do when he is out of beer?

Wine

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Why did the beer get bottled?

He was trying to dodge the draft.

What beer does Sean Connery drink?

Grols

Wine Jokes More Wine Jokes

What's in the bottle?

Me: "It's water." Cop: "This is wine." Me: "What! That Jesus! He did it again!"

What's it called when you make sure you don't spill the wine?

Being carafe-ful.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

What do you call it when an alcoholic stops drinking?

A leave of Absinthe.