What song does Freddy Krueger listen to when he gets a manicure?

I got Kniiiiiives on it! that inspired the joke.

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Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why shouldn't you tell a philosophy major a joke?

They don't find them Hume-erous.

What does a cat say when you tread on its tail?

ME-OW! I am very sorry. Just thought of it and felt like everyone should hear it. Maybe some jokes are better left untold...

Listen Jokes More Listen Jokes

How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods ?

Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark !

What do you call a rabbit in a beanie and listening to vinyl?

A Hopster.

Song Jokes More Song Jokes

What rhymes with California?

Every Red Hot Chili Peppers song writing session ever

What do the song "Dixie Chicken" and a Klansman have in common?

You would refer to both as a Fowl(/ul) Southerner.

Inspire Jokes More Inspire Jokes

What kind of music does an inspired Latin fish listen to?

Carp E.D.M. Credit to my friend for this one.

What's the difference between a feminist and a battery?

Batteries have a positive side! inspired by: http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2zlrot/howmanyfeministsdoesittaketochangea/

Manicure Jokes More Manicure Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

What's the same about nail care and black people?

They're both manicures