Why did the knife quit?

It couldn't CUT IT! woohoo! I made this one up while sitting at a buffet table. Enjoy! Skip

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Skip Jokes More Skip Jokes

Why did Microsoft skip from Windows 8 to Windows 10?

They revived to much XP

How are women like rocks?

You skip the flat ones.

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

What foreplay does the praying mantis girlfriend enjoys ?

Being given head.

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What's the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg?

Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.

What do you call an Asian lady sitting on a fence with no arms or legs?

Pai-Ling

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

What did Pinocchio say to Rudolph when he asked him what he asked for Christmas?

Quit being nosey.

Why are you not laughing?

Cos I'm quitting today."

Knife Jokes More Knife Jokes

Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?

The knife just wasn't cutting it.

Why do you carry a knife?

Me: A sword is harder to hide.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What's the difference between an onion and a woman?

I cry when I cut open an onion

What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.