Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?

The knife just wasn't cutting it.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you call a cat who uses fake finger prints?

an im-paw-ster.

Why didn't the doctor use Twitter to tell the patient that he had a deadly disease?

Because the condition was untweetable.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why don't men want to go down on a woman first thing in the morning?

have you ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese?

How can the eurologist tell if he is looking at a man or woman?

Well, there is a vast difference.

Knife Jokes More Knife Jokes

What's the most useless thing about a knife?

The 'K'

Why does a Belgian have a knife in his car?

To cut the corners!

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense ?

So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.

How on earth can you defend a man like Adam Johnson?

it's easy, he's all left foot - just constantly show him down the right side and don't let him cut in.

Pair Jokes More Pair Jokes

Why can't two elephants go swimming?

They only have one pair of trunks.

Why did the suspenders get arrested?

A: Because they held up a pair of pants.

Rope Jokes More Rope Jokes

What lands first?

The leaf, a rope stopped the emo.

Why didn't the rope get any presents this year?

He was very knotty.

Scissor Jokes More Scissor Jokes

What does one lesbian pirate say to another lesbian pirate?

Scissor me timbers.

What does a Mexican cut a pizza with?

Little ceasars!!! (Scissors)