Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?

The knife just wasn't cutting it.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do comic book collectors use in their hair?

Mint conditioner.

What machine should I use at the gym to impress girls?

The ATM

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did the fish say to the man draining its aquarium?

WATER YOU DOING

Why did Steve Irwin's sunscreen get recalled?

It didn't protect him from harmful rays Edit: Steve Irwin was the man. RIP

Knife Jokes More Knife Jokes

Why does a redneck hold a knife while driving?

So he can cut corners.

What's the most useless thing about a knife?

The 'K'

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What is a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear Sir/Ma'am, We are cutting your internet connection due to the following reasons:

What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?

Lil Caesars

Pair Jokes More Pair Jokes

Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he gets a hole in one!

Why did the belt get locked up?

A: He held up a pair of pants.

Rope Jokes More Rope Jokes

Why did the rope get put in timeout?

Because he was very knotty.

How do pirates measure rope?

In yarr'ds.

Scissor Jokes More Scissor Jokes

What do you get when you stab a toddler with a pair of scissors?

An erection.

Why does it take 10 women with premenstrual tension to change a light bulb?

IT JUST DOES, OK JERK !!!! NOW SHUT UP OR I WILL STAB YOU WITH THE SCISSORS!