Rope Jokes

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot."

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How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Untie the rope...

What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo?

The leaf, the rope stops the emo.

How does a sloth hang itself?

By trying to jump rope.

How do pirates measure rope?

In yarr'ds.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree?

Cut the rope!

Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch ?

He was the skipper !

What's more fun than swinging an infant over your head with a rope as fast as you can?

Stopping it with a shovel

Why didn't the rope get any presents this year?

He was very knotty.

How do you get a black man out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

What did one end of the rope say to the other?

We were bound to get together...

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Why did the rope not get any presents?

Because he was knotty.

Why did the rope go to jail?

Because he was knotty

What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?

A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.

Who's there ! Caroline ! Caroline who ?

Caroline of rope with you !

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope?

He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope.

What falls down faster from a tree, a leaf or an emo?

A leaf. The rope catches the emo.

Why did the rope get put in timeout?

Because he was very knotty.

What do they do with rope in space?

Tie Astro-knots.

Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?

It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots.

Why did you tie a rope on that criminal?

Officer: You ordered me to get a line on the suspect.

How do you get a goth down from a tree?

Cut the rope

Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire most?

Gorilla Monsoon - he knows the ropes!

Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?

The knife just wasn't cutting it.

What lands first?

The leaf, a rope stopped the emo.

What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?

A:('A jump rope')"

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What do you call a guy who plays Fallout?

A Fall Out Boy.

Why did Mary fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms. Knock, knock! (Who's there ) Well, it ain't Mary.

Propose Jokes More Propose Jokes

What did the melon tell her boyfriend when he proposed?

Yes but we cantaloupe.

How does a hamster propose to his girlfriend?

With a hamst-ring! I'm sorry.

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why do scuba divers jump off the boat backwards?

Because if they jumped forwards they'd still be in the boat.

Why do scuba-divers jump backwards into the water?

Because if they jumped forwards they'd still be in the boat.

Sloth Jokes More Sloth Jokes

What are sloths?

Wrong, What are coworkers"

How does a sloth hang itself?

By trying to jump rope.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

How are you doing this morning?

Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you

What has little balls, and hangs down?

A bat. What has big balls, and hangs up ...Then hang up the phone x)

Tangle Jokes More Tangle Jokes

What is tangled rope in space called?

Astro-knot

What did the bee use to dry off after swimming?

A *bee*ch towel. What did the bee use to get out the tangles A honeycomb.

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

What do you call an Irish girl sitting on a hot griddle holding a piece of cheese?

A paddy melt!!

Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?

BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE

Shovel Jokes More Shovel Jokes

What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?

Dug

Why did I need to bring a shovel on my first date?

Clearly the chloroform wasn't enough.