Rope Jokes

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot."

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How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Untie the rope...

What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo?

The leaf, the rope stops the emo.

How does a sloth hang itself?

By trying to jump rope.

How do pirates measure rope?

In yarr'ds.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree?

Cut the rope!

Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch ?

He was the skipper !

What's more fun than swinging an infant over your head with a rope as fast as you can?

Stopping it with a shovel

Why didn't the rope get any presents this year?

He was very knotty.

How do you get a black man out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

What did one end of the rope say to the other?

We were bound to get together...

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Why did the rope not get any presents?

Because he was knotty.

Why did the rope go to jail?

Because he was knotty

What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?

A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.

Who's there ! Caroline ! Caroline who ?

Caroline of rope with you !

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope?

He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope.

What falls down faster from a tree, a leaf or an emo?

A leaf. The rope catches the emo.

Why did the rope get put in timeout?

Because he was very knotty.

What do they do with rope in space?

Tie Astro-knots.

Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?

It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots.

Why did you tie a rope on that criminal?

Officer: You ordered me to get a line on the suspect.

How do you get a goth down from a tree?

Cut the rope

Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire most?

Gorilla Monsoon - he knows the ropes!

Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?

The knife just wasn't cutting it.

What lands first?

The leaf, a rope stopped the emo.

What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?

A:('A jump rope')"

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What do you call wifi in space?

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What does Michael J Fox do when his son parks in his space?

He Park in son's space

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What did the bee use to dry off after swimming?

A *bee*ch towel. What did the bee use to get out the tangles A honeycomb.

What is tangled rope in space called?

Astro-knot

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What do you call it when fish stop having babies?

Minnow-pause

How many babies does it take to stop a puck?

Ask Subban from the Hans to find out

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What word begins with "N" and ends in "R" that I wouldn't want to call a black guy?

Neighbor.

What did the black guy see when he went down the roller coaster?

His upper lip.

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Why don't black people like pirates?

they pronounce everything with a hard "aargh"

Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet?

Because his 'I' was all jacked up.

Untie Jokes More Untie Jokes

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Untie the rope...

Why did the dyslexic escapologist join the International Socialists?

A. because he wanted to help untie the human race.

Astro Knot Jokes More Astro Knot Jokes

What kind of knots only exist in space?

Astro-knots.

What do they do with rope in space?

Tie Astro-knots.

Infant Jokes More Infant Jokes

What do you call a really really big ant?

A GIANT! Now what do you call a baby ant an Infant! What do you call an ant thats into business A Merchant! please post more ant jokes if you know of any.

What do you call a sapling in the military?

An Infantry! (Infant tree, a sapling is a baby/young tree Ah forget it!)