Rope Jokes

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot."

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How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Untie the rope...

What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo?

The leaf, the rope stops the emo.

How does a sloth hang itself?

By trying to jump rope.

How do pirates measure rope?

In yarr'ds.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree?

Cut the rope!

Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch ?

He was the skipper !

What's more fun than swinging an infant over your head with a rope as fast as you can?

Stopping it with a shovel

Why didn't the rope get any presents this year?

He was very knotty.

How do you get a black man out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

What did one end of the rope say to the other?

We were bound to get together...

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Why did the rope not get any presents?

Because he was knotty.

Why did the rope go to jail?

Because he was knotty

What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?

A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.

Who's there ! Caroline ! Caroline who ?

Caroline of rope with you !

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope?

He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope.

What falls down faster from a tree, a leaf or an emo?

A leaf. The rope catches the emo.

Why did the rope get put in timeout?

Because he was very knotty.

What do they do with rope in space?

Tie Astro-knots.

Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?

It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots.

Why did you tie a rope on that criminal?

Officer: You ordered me to get a line on the suspect.

How do you get a goth down from a tree?

Cut the rope

Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire most?

Gorilla Monsoon - he knows the ropes!

Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?

The knife just wasn't cutting it.

What lands first?

The leaf, a rope stopped the emo.

What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?

A:('A jump rope')"

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Practice Jokes More Practice Jokes

What do Catholics and guitar players have in common?

Neither of them practice.

What religion do ghosts practice?

Boo-ddhism

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What is your emergency?

Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.

What is Robin Williams doing in heaven?

Not sure, probably just hanging out.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why did Vladimir fall off his bike?

He was rushin

Why doesn't Jesus like M&ampM's?

Because they fall through his hands.

Skipper Jokes More Skipper Jokes

Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch ?

He was the skipper !

What do you call a man with no arms or legs... ... sitting at your door?

Matt. ...floating in your pool Bob. ...hanging on your wall Art. ... water skiing Skipper.

String Jokes More String Jokes

Why didn't the string get anything for Christmas?

Because he was knotty!

What do you call a relationship that never works out between guitarists?

No strings attached

Boxer Jokes More Boxer Jokes

Why did the boxer bring a bar of soap into the ring?

The referee said he wanted a clean fight. :D

Which boxer did Darth Vader put his money on in the fight?

The Thai fighter

Leaf Jokes More Leaf Jokes

What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo?

The leaf, the rope stops the emo.

What did one plant say to the other plant that was annoying him?

Please leaf me alone! Or I'll tell my mom, and you'll get in trouble.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

How many trains have I derailed in all my years as a train driver?

It's hard to keep track.

How many Apple workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to over hype the new lightbulb and one to make sure it breaks within a year.