Rope Jokes

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot."

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How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Untie the rope...

What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo?

The leaf, the rope stops the emo.

How does a sloth hang itself?

By trying to jump rope.

How do pirates measure rope?

In yarr'ds.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree?

Cut the rope!

Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch ?

He was the skipper !

What's more fun than swinging an infant over your head with a rope as fast as you can?

Stopping it with a shovel

Why didn't the rope get any presents this year?

He was very knotty.

How do you get a black man out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

What did one end of the rope say to the other?

We were bound to get together...

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Why did the rope not get any presents?

Because he was knotty.

Why did the rope go to jail?

Because he was knotty

What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?

A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.

Who's there ! Caroline ! Caroline who ?

Caroline of rope with you !

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope?

He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope.

What falls down faster from a tree, a leaf or an emo?

A leaf. The rope catches the emo.

Why did the rope get put in timeout?

Because he was very knotty.

What do they do with rope in space?

Tie Astro-knots.

Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?

It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots.

Why did you tie a rope on that criminal?

Officer: You ordered me to get a line on the suspect.

How do you get a goth down from a tree?

Cut the rope

Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire most?

Gorilla Monsoon - he knows the ropes!

Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?

The knife just wasn't cutting it.

What lands first?

The leaf, a rope stopped the emo.

What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?

A:('A jump rope')"

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Untie Jokes More Untie Jokes

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Untie the rope...

Why did the dyslexic escapologist join the International Socialists?

A. because he wanted to help untie the human race.

Leaf Jokes More Leaf Jokes

How do you depress a room full of geeks?

Hold the door! I'm a leaf on the wind!"

What did one plant say to the other plant that was annoying him?

Please leaf me alone! Or I'll tell my mom, and you'll get in trouble.

Propose Jokes More Propose Jokes

Which his guide had proposed to climb. - Do people tumble down often here?

No, the guide said, one time is usually enough.

How does a nihilist propose to his fiancee?

Even though my existence is meaningless I want to spend the rest of it with you."

Practice Jokes More Practice Jokes

What religion do ghosts practice?

Boo-ddhism

How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

What do you call a white man surrounded by many black men?

A warden

Why are black men afraid of chainsaw's?

When you start them, they made the sound "runnnniganiganiganiga" Sorry for the racism, but had to share this.

Shovel Jokes More Shovel Jokes

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?

Give her a shovel.

What's the difference between a pirate and a necrophiliac?

I'm not sure, but they both go out with shovels to find the booty.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What's the difference between a line dance instructor and a dentist?

A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.

Why are cats longer in the evening than they are in the morning?

Because they're let out in the evening and taking in in the morning !

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why did broke man fall over?

He ran out of balance

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a baby?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.