Rope Jokes

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot."

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Coffee Mug

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Untie the rope...

What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo?

The leaf, the rope stops the emo.

How does a sloth hang itself?

By trying to jump rope.

How do pirates measure rope?

In yarr'ds.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree?

Cut the rope!

Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch ?

He was the skipper !

What's more fun than swinging an infant over your head with a rope as fast as you can?

Stopping it with a shovel

Why didn't the rope get any presents this year?

He was very knotty.

How do you get a black man out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

What did one end of the rope say to the other?

We were bound to get together...

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why did the rope not get any presents?

Because he was knotty.

Why did the rope go to jail?

Because he was knotty

What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?

A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.

Who's there ! Caroline ! Caroline who ?

Caroline of rope with you !

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope?

He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope.

What falls down faster from a tree, a leaf or an emo?

A leaf. The rope catches the emo.

Why did the rope get put in timeout?

Because he was very knotty.

What do they do with rope in space?

Tie Astro-knots.

Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?

It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots.

Why did you tie a rope on that criminal?

Officer: You ordered me to get a line on the suspect.

How do you get a goth down from a tree?

Cut the rope

Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire most?

Gorilla Monsoon - he knows the ropes!

Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?

The knife just wasn't cutting it.

What lands first?

The leaf, a rope stopped the emo.

What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?

A:('A jump rope')"

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Present Jokes More Present Jokes

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?

We don't know she hasn't opened her presents yet.

What do you call presents after you've opened them?

Pasts

Propose Jokes More Propose Jokes

What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?

Engage.

How does a nihilist propose to his fiancee?

Even though my existence is meaningless I want to spend the rest of it with you."

Emo Jokes More Emo Jokes

What falls down faster from a tree, a leaf or an emo?

A leaf. The rope catches the emo.

Why are emo people so good at ping-pong?

Because they are well practiced in cutting.

Boxer Jokes More Boxer Jokes

What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Pug?

A pugilist!

Why Does the Pope wear Boxers?

He doesn't want to look down on the unemployed.

String Jokes More String Jokes

How did the puppeteer meet the President?

He pulled some strings.

What did the string say to the harp?

No, you're a lyre!

Leaf Jokes More Leaf Jokes

What falls down faster from a tree, a leaf or an emo?

A leaf. The rope catches the emo.

What did the one tree say to the other tree?

I'd best be leafing.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

Why did the blonde have lipstick all over her steering wheel?

She was trying to blow the horn

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

What do you call a hundred black men buried up to their necks in dirt?

Afroturf

What's the difference between Batman, and a black man?

Batman can go out at night without Robin. Ba-Dum-Tis!!!!!!!