Propose Jokes

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot."

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How does a nihilist propose to his fiancee?

Even though my existence is meaningless I want to spend the rest of it with you."

How did the stoner propose to his girlfriend?

Marriage, you wanna?

How did the pothead propose to his girlfriend?

Marriage.. you wanna?"

What did the melon say to the banana when it proposed?

Yes! But we cantaloupe.

What did Shakespeare say when Mr. Big proposed to him?

Noth"

What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?

Engage.

How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

What did the melon tell her boyfriend when he proposed?

Yes but we cantaloupe.

How do you propose to a stoner?

Marriage, you wanna

How did the rice crispy propose to the cornflake?

It Snapped, Crackled and Popped the question.

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Which his guide had proposed to climb. - Do people tumble down often here?

No, the guide said, one time is usually enough.

Why don't women propose to men?

Because the guy'd always be disappointed when she took out a ring.

How does a hamster propose to his girlfriend?

With a hamst-ring! I'm sorry.

When a coworker tells everyone he proposed, I'm the guy that asks, "So, what did she say?

I'm funny that way.

How did a Hispanic farmer propose to his girlfriend?

With arroz.

How did the phone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

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Existence Jokes More Existence Jokes

When I see a "How am I driving?

sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence

Why do you keep changing a word into something that makes no sense ?

You are the banner of my existence.

Patrick Stewart Jokes More Patrick Stewart Jokes

What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?

Engage.

Why did Patrick Stewart shave his head?

So he could badly go where no man has gone before.

Melon Jokes More Melon Jokes

Why do melons insist on having big weddings?

Because they just cantaloupe.

Why did the melon get married in a church?

Because he was in love with a cantaloupe.

Stoner Jokes More Stoner Jokes

Why did the stoner admire himself in the mirror everyday?

Because he has a high opinion of himself

What do prime numbers and stoners have in common?

The higher they are, the more spaced out they get

Comment Jokes More Comment Jokes

What dose a device that makes electricity and a person who likes a comment on caitlyn's face book page have in common?

They are both generators (jenner-rater)

What's a clown's favorite restaurant?

mod post from r/AntiJokes) I wouldn't know, as a mime I cannot comment.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

Why did the snowman leave his wife?

Because she got plowed by another man.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning ?

An alarm cluck !

What are you going to do with your time, now that you're retired?

I'm going to finish my book." "I didn't know you were writing a book." "I'm not, I'm reading one."

Big Jokes More Big Jokes

Who's bigger?

Mr. Bigger Or Mr. Bigger's baby The baby, because it is a little Bigger.

What did Shakespeare say when Mr. Big proposed to him?

Noth"